It was Demetri's first year as Executive Director, hired only three or four months before me, and in one year, we together accomplished the impossible. We turned the organization around, increased sponsorship dollars by 92%, instituted a direct marketing campaign, improved media relations and community outreach, achieved a 115% Exhibitor rental sell out, produced four premier events, and served the Board of Directors to the very best of our abilities. The only problem for me was that my style was off; it was different, naive and trite, contemptuous in many ways, only because I wasn't being listened to by any one of my colleagues except for my admirable, open-minded boss: Demetri.
I was full of ideas all the time, and I was desperate to be heard, constantly chiming in on Planning Committee conversations and very vocally pushing my ideas on the Board. I was only hoping that they would find value in my enthusiasm, creativity, ingenuity, intelligence; but instead, they all (each in their own right) responded very caustically to my brash misgivings, which I only intended as gestures of solidarity and support. As the year progressed, the relationships (or semblance there of) I had developed with the Board members (especially the Board President and the Exhibitors Division Chairwoman, who directly controlled the reception of the majority of all of my work on the job) progressively began to deteriorate and erupt in frustration. The only ally I had was my boss, Demetri.
Demetri was always there to listen to the bantering and blabbering, to the constant flux of ideas and suggestions and concepts and proposals flowing from my mind. He knew, as well as I did, that it wasn't very realistic to expect the Board to go along with any of my ideas, because as I say later, I was a "mere underling," but he listened to & considered each of my thoughts, filing them in the back of his mind as our own private stash of possibilities..."for the Future!," we would say. Little did I know that the Future would be short at hand and obstructed by my termination by the emboldened, bitter, brutally angry Board President, who just did not like me.
I'll set the record straight, before I continue: I was no perfect employee. Demetri gave me very many liberties with him in our private, professional relationship; liberties that the Board Director found offensive and improper. I got my job done always, but to my own slow canter. What my naivety prevented me from realizing was that a group of fetish-friendly BDSM community leaders, professionals, like the FOLSOM STREET EVENTS® Board of Directors, would much rather prefer a master-slave relationship with their "underlings," expecting due diligence and immediate response to all commands. Demetri was a fetish freak, a founder of the San Francisco and Los Angeles chapters of the "Men of Discipline," a BDSM fetishistic military-style fraternity of platonic and sometimes sexual partners, but Demetri had a soft side for me where I constantly found refuge.
I'll forever remember the day my employment was terminated. It was a Friday, after a full week of steady accomplishments. Just that day was the deadline for Beneficiaries to submit their applications: an important day; and oddly, the Board President shows up midday and installs himself at the head of the conference table. Demetri then got very quiet; in fact, if I remember correctly, he had pretty much been quiet all that day, not engaging in much of any conversation with me. Then at one point, around 3pm, Demetri picked up a folder from his desk and solemnly walked over to sit down next to the Board President at the conference table. There was silence, long empty silence. I wondered what was going on.
Then Demetri quietly, humbly muttered, "Matt, would you come here please and have a seat." I was confused. I didn't know what was going on and definitely had that look on my face when I sat down next to the Board President, opposite my boss, the Executive Director. That's when I saw Demetri's face and heard him struggling with his breath, obviously uncomfortable in his seat. His eyes showed such anxiety. He received a cold, commanding stare from his boss, the Board President to urge him to say what needed to be said, but Demetri really was struggling to say it: "Matt, we've decided to let you go."
That's basically all he said for the rest of the berating. I say "berating" because that's exactly what it was. The Board President began to speak vehemently, brutally slicing his words at me in his stuffy British accent, proceeding to condemn me for all of my myriad of inconceivable inadequacies. His voice got loud. He was infuriated. When I tried to speak up and defend myself, painfully attempting to salvage some self-respect and any chance at a job I had left, he yelled me down, hollering "THERE'S NO DEBATING THIS! WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE! THAT'S THAT! You have no choice but to sign your severance package, turn in your keys and leave." (I paraphrase: poetic license!)
This entire time I was pleading with Demetri silently, with my tearful eyes and dropped jaw, to speak up and stop this attack. I was certain, by view of the harrowing, desperately uncomfortable look on his face, that Demetri did not want to be doing this. I figure he was forced to, threatened with being fired himself if he didn't fire me or at least go along with the Board President firing me. I swear, I saw tears in his eyes. He looked like a meek little puppy, condemned to obey his master. I accepted the decision with great disappointment, shivering in tears of anxiety, gathered my things and walked out, but not without putting out my hand to Demetri for a shake, a good-bye. That's when Demetri grabbed my hand and pulled me in to a deep embrace, a strong, impassioned bear hug. I could feel his sweat, hear his heart thumping rapidly. I could also hear him screaming silently inside his own head, "I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T WANT THIS! THIS ISN'T RIGHT! I HAD NO CHOICE!" (I paraphrase: poetic license! hehehe.)
At that moment, I knew that something wonderful was coming to an end. Despite all the trauma and turmoil of working for a Board of Directors that held me in the least esteem, Demetri really cared. He believed in me. I had somehow so stupidly succeeded in taking advantage of the liberties he'd give me, and I somehow, some time, over-stepped some invisible, undetermined boundaries. I had crossed a line. Demetri would have been willing to let me step right back to the right side and start over afresh, but the Board President would not let me move an inch. He had caught me where he wanted me, right where I was vulnerable and helpless and had no choice, no chance to survive.
I knew that I was losing a really great thing: a really great boss!! And to demonstrate the great respect and admiration I had and still have for Demetri Moshoyannis as a professional, I decided to write him a recommendation for his LinkedIn® Profile, hoping that he'd accept it and proudly display it on his profile. Words spoken from the heart. I preface the recommendation text with an email further describing my feelings for Demetri, speaking directly to him, instead of about him. I hope he appreciates and is truly touched by what I have to say. Both the email and the recommendation I just submitted to Demetri today via LinkedIn® are cited below. Let me know what you think! I'd like to know that someone finds my words moving and meaningful. Please.
LINKEDIN® EMAIL TO DEMETRI MOSHOYANNIS
Dear Demetri,
I've written this recommendation of your work to share with other LinkedIn® users.
You were a great boss, Demetri! The best I'll probably ever have. While I regret the occasional squabbles between you and me over mere trifles, I will forever be grateful for the many times when you actually listened to my ideas and encouraged me to express myself, when others were so bitterly opposed to me speaking my mind.
It makes me sad that I was stupid enough to let the opportunity to contribute my gems of creative thought slip from beneath me and not to see maybe even just one of my ideas embraced and implemented, by making mistake after adolescent, maniacal mistake.
I only wish our tenure together could have lasted even just one fair season longer, just to see how well we could have fused our minds together, have had me gain some ground with our colleagues, be respected and affect really positive change in the organization. Thank you for treating me like a human being when others would not.
I'm sorry for my mistakes. I'll always cherish the experience of working with you. Thank you for trying so hard to keep believing in me, even when I was at my worst. Thank you for your compassion.
And with that said, I leave you to read and review the recommendation below that I wrote for you. It's from the heart, maybe too much so! If you need me to toughen it up and streamline it a little with a revision, I will. I hope though that you will at least appreciate and return the gesture.
Good luck with the 2009 Fair Season! Don't get too burnt out! FSE needs you at your prime. What would they do without you?? I don't know. God Bless! Namaste. Peace Out.
Let me know what you think of the recommendation. I hope you'll post it to your profile. I feel honored to contribute to your professional profile on LinkedIn®. Just a gesture, fully and rightfully deserved. Tootles! Read on...
Most Sincerely,
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew BlanchardDETAILS OF THE RECOMMENDATION
Demetri was a superb, insightful, creative, compassionate boss, a real pleasure to work for during my time as his assistant in 2006. He was respectfully lenient and understanding, without ever letting me forget my responsibilities, and while still demanding intelligent, inspired collaboration, feedback and ideas of me: a lowly underling.
One thing I never could doubt when working with Demetri was that he knew his stuff. He is a pro! A truly inspiring leader and a dutiful servant to the organization, fighting constantly to improve the standards and practices upon which FOLSOM STREET EVENTS® stands.
With his continuing tenure at the helm of the organization, I am only certain that it will continue to grow & prosper. FSE has blossomed and beefed up under his leadership already! I'm anxious to see how far he can take the juggernaut that is "Fetish Freedomland": Folsom Street Fair®!!
I constantly croon in nostalgia over the lost opportunity to continue to see FSE rise to megalithic glory with Demetri at the reigns and me, his fagged-out funambulist freak show front desk man by his side. He respected and nurtured me when no one else would. For that I am eternally grateful!
I will always fondly remember my experience working with this "Man of Discipline," and I will equally regret ever letting him down. Thanks, Demetri! And I'm sorry...
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