I thought of so many titles for this blog entry, but found trouble reaching a decision because the scope of this article is so broad and detailed, while it bounds between momentous bits of wisdom of faith as if the intellect and the soul were mere play toys (not to sound pretentious!).
I have so much to discuss! This afternoon (from 1:30 - 2:45pm), I had my weekly Gospel Reading, Homily, Communion and Anointment from my in-home chaplain, and we had such an invigorating conversation that engaged me and drew me into deep contemplation and questioning: healthy questioning about my faith and my experiences.
The main themes of this article, which synopsizes my Reverend's Homily and our incorporated dialogue, are Congregation or Community vs. Church Leadership or Institution; Exclusion from faith Communities; The Resiliency of faith and Its Survival; The Equilibrium of Binary Occurrences in Faith (Yin/Yang, Jesus Christ/The Devil, Bliss/Pain, Fulfillment/Suffering, etc.); (again as in other Homilies) The Discovery of New Gifts and Pathways Toward Reaching Our Full Potential in Faith and in Life in God's Eyes; The "OctoMom" Debate, Faith and Recovery, etc.
I hope that if you can make it through this lengthy, ambitious article you might find some delightful tickle or titillating twists of intellect and faith (two virtues that so often seem a dichotomy) that inspire you to examine and strengthen your own relationship with God—the Father, and to continue your journey toward Salvation and Enlightenment through deep thought and study and debate.
Be blessed, my friends! For I would like to share my blessings with you all! Let me know what you think of the arguments in this article and about my relationship with my caring, stoic, unoffensive priest who visits me weekly for soul searching & revelation. What a gift! What an honor!
I have so much to discuss! This afternoon (from 1:30 - 2:45pm), I had my weekly Gospel Reading, Homily, Communion and Anointment from my in-home chaplain, and we had such an invigorating conversation that engaged me and drew me into deep contemplation and questioning: healthy questioning about my faith and my experiences.
The main themes of this article, which synopsizes my Reverend's Homily and our incorporated dialogue, are Congregation or Community vs. Church Leadership or Institution; Exclusion from faith Communities; The Resiliency of faith and Its Survival; The Equilibrium of Binary Occurrences in Faith (Yin/Yang, Jesus Christ/The Devil, Bliss/Pain, Fulfillment/Suffering, etc.); (again as in other Homilies) The Discovery of New Gifts and Pathways Toward Reaching Our Full Potential in Faith and in Life in God's Eyes; The "OctoMom" Debate, Faith and Recovery, etc.
I hope that if you can make it through this lengthy, ambitious article you might find some delightful tickle or titillating twists of intellect and faith (two virtues that so often seem a dichotomy) that inspire you to examine and strengthen your own relationship with God—the Father, and to continue your journey toward Salvation and Enlightenment through deep thought and study and debate.
Be blessed, my friends! For I would like to share my blessings with you all! Let me know what you think of the arguments in this article and about my relationship with my caring, stoic, unoffensive priest who visits me weekly for soul searching & revelation. What a gift! What an honor!
St. Andrei Rublev, "St. John the Apostle." [Illustration]
standreirublevicons.com, ©2008 (March 20, 2009).The Gospel acc. to John
Chapter 6 : Verses 52 - 7152 The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat?
53 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.
54 Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.
55 For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.
56 He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me and I in him.
57 As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me.
58 This is the bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live forever.
59 These things said he in the synagogue, as he taught in Capernaum.
60 Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is a hard saying; who can hear it?
61 When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto them, Doth this offend you?
62 What and if ye shall see the Son of man ascend up where he was before?
63 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak to you are spirit; and they are life.
64 But there are some of you that believe not: for Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him.
65 And he said, Therefore, said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father.
66 From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.
67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will you also go away?
68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou has the words of eternal life.
69 And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.
70 Jesus answered them, Have not I chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil?
71 He spoke of Judas Iscariot the son of Simon; for he it was that should betray him, being one of the twelve."The Gospel acc. to John 6:52-71," The Holy Bible v.King James..
[Religious Lit.] Paradise Press, Inc. ©2006 (March 20, 2009).
During today's Homily and discussion with my in-home chaplain, Rev. Stephen Bartlett-Re, I found myself immersed in deep thought and conversation, constantly rebutting my priest's messages to me by asking questions or by offering alternative personal views on matters of religion and faith. It was a great dialogue which left me inspired to record much of what was discussed again in a blog entry.
As Fthr. Stephen calls himself an intuitive thinker (as am I) and not a linear thinker, our conversation was rather rambling and curvaceous in its style, so it's difficult synopsizing the themes of our discussion in a logical format; because we let the conversation: a nontraditional though very personalized Homily, flow through and around ideas, examining each one of them briefly as they came into discussion.
But I will try to condense the Homily in an intelligible manner, so that readers of this blog entry might fully comprehend and be inspired by the immense wisdom that was shared spontaneously between two friends in Faith.
Before Fthr. Stephen read of the Gospel, we had a lengthy conversation that was ignited by a realization that there is a distinct difficulty in the GLBTQ community for men & women to practice a religion in a proper congregation of any denomination, while its easier for them to be disconnected from a church and yet to retain an enduring faith in God—The Father, and his sacrifice: his only son, Jesus Christ.
We both noticed how difficult it has been in our lives to find a church community that is accepting and welcoming and loving of us as gay men (or merely as anonymous individuals, even; regardless of our sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, gender, creed—or because of it?). Fthr. Stephen suggests that women in all fashions of the church are usually more welcoming than men (even in non-faith communities) in general, and men are more stoic & reserved and uninviting.
This, I proclaimed indignantly, was the reason why the gay community is so weak in faith and elsewhere in social life and community. Rev. Stephen agreed with me with a nod, a smile, and a confirming, concise response, "Exactly." He then described his personal experience living in Europe, in order to demonstrate how Anglo-Saxon/Americans have a tendency to compartmentalize their lives and sternly separate faith from function—contrary to Europeans.
He said that, in Europe, one can move in between and around the various aspects of one's personality without offending anyone, without being judged, and without negatively affecting the natural flow of conversation. In Europe, you can live as your true self and speak harmoniously of sexual orientation and religion in the same sentence.
Fthr. Stephen then continued to emphasis the obvious distinction between Religion & Faith, and between institutional leadership & congregational leadership in the Church. One is community-driven; it thrives on the strength of a small close knit group of parishioners. One is a megalithic administration that values more the increase of their already expansive wealth over parishioners as a community of individual followers of one common Faith. And lastly, there's the independent, rejected outcast of the Church, who still manages to salvage, nurture and grow his own Faith and Practice privately.
But community is primarily responsible for the survival of the Church, and many gay men & women (such as the parishioners of the Holy Redeemer Catholic Church in the Castro District of San Francisco, who blindly accept the bigotry and judgment against their lifestyles and values in sermon and in practice of the Church leadership & community, and still nonetheless follow along, deftly silencing any impulse toward rebuttal of what they hear and see from their conservative heterosexual church members and clergy; because they want (they need) to stay part of this particular Faith Community.
The truth is that in every group or community (or even political organization), there are unique rules and regulations, mores & maxims that members must obey, rather than risk disintegrating the community through internal strife and disagreement. Members of a community (social, religious, political or otherwise) must abandon or quench some of their most potent, inspired values and ideas for the sake of the group maintaining its salience.
The dialogue about faith and the GLBTQ communities in America took a biting, sardonic tone, when it was turned toward current pop culture news & events by Fthr. Stephen's mentioning of the "OctoMom." What he revealed to me about the "OctoMom", based on news he had heard in conversation with colleagues and in reading various international news journals, was actually very revelatory—although tragically ironic or an oxymoron (even worse!). He explained that there is a certain potently vocal group of Christian Fundamentalist Church leaders who have begun to argue that the "OctoMom" phenomenon is the fault of the Homosexuals.
"What!? Why in the world? How in the world could they come to that conclusion?" I questioned. Rev. Stephen explained further that the Fundamentalist Christian Right Wing community is circulating the idea that this poor woman felt obligated to birth all eight babies because she was "fighting to preserve the Heterosexual race" against a detrimentally prolific propagating of gay people all over the World!!
I was stunned, shocked, appalled! Primarily, because I distinctly remember viewing a RadarTV.com television interview with the "OctoMom", where she defensively confessed in her own uniquely reasonable and rational way that she "wouldn't put the kids up for adoption, and...could have never killed the embryos, because they were human life. That'd be murder!"
What's so ironic is that this particular rationale: the obligation to produce or "save" life because unfertilized embryos are human beings, is the same rationale that serves as the backbone of all Right Wing Christian Fundamentalist arguments against Human Embryonic Stem Cell Research—research that may just very well lead to the curing of many of humankind's most devastating diseases and infirmities, and may one day prove to see the paralyzed take their "first steps on Earth."
So it just logically seems to me that the "OctoMom" and her fourteen children are the direct product of Conservative Fundamentalists and of the extreme pro-life rhetoric and values of the Christian Church or some far Right (but horribly wrong!) Denomination; and the phenomenon is not the fault of a gay population take over. Funny though! Chances are that at least 6 of her children will end up struggling with their sexual identity in their adolescence and turn out to be gay or lesbian. Hah Hah!
See! We are taking over! It's our own covert operation to progressively eliminate the entire Heterosexual Race, but that would only be possible if Darwin's theories of "Survival of the Fittest" & "Evolution" were sound & true. The Christians would never admit to That! Oh God! Can you imagine? It would turn the world in spirals downward so low we'd all be engulfed in the flames at the core of the Earth and suffer eternally in Purgatory!! Sense the cynicism and sarcasm? Hell, I couldn't make it any more blatantly obvious. Hehehehe!
Upon the frustrating end to the "OctoMom" topic, Fthr. Stephen read some of the verses of today's Gospel (the first half to 2/3) and began to focus in to discuss the essence of his Homily. The scripture reads (and I paraphrase; because we all have the right to take certain liberties with the Bible, as it has been so many times so loosely and biasedly translated; and because, I'm not much of a fan of the King James Version translation that I've cited at the start of this article): Whoso eateth of the flesh of the Son and drinketh of his blood will live forever! That statement, in and of itself, represents one of the many core values or sentiments of our religion.
Rev. Stephen enlighted me by guiding me to the realization that this is an open, non-prejudicial or non-segregatory statement. In this simple, succinct statement, there is not mention of anything remotely related to classifications based on race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, marital status or sin. All that one needs to be worthy of eternal life in the emaculate bliss of Heaven is to have faith enough to believe that the bread of Christ is the flesh of Christ; and the wine, his blood.
Eternal life is our gift for having faith enough to eat of the flesh of Jesus and drink of his blood: a gruesome, cannabilistic, vampyric action or simply a symbolic gesture: an expression of our profoundly complex individual Faith in God and in the Life, Death and the Miracles of his only son, Jesus Christ. "It's about the fundamentals not the Fundamentalists," Fthr. Stephen declared. "As Paul the Apostle preached, Absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love for each of us!" he added.
Bringing the dialogue in a complete circle, limiting any tangential sway from the crux of his message: his Homily, Fthr. Stephen argued again of the conflict between Church Community and Church Leadership (Congregation vs. Institution), believing that when conflict arises between the two and a follower is admonished and rejected by the religious community, faith can still survive outside the Church.
For example, in Ancient empirical Japan, all religious institutions were systematically abolished by the Empire, but the Faith and the Practices of Buddhism & Confucionism have nontheless survived until today, thousands of years! Fthr. Stephen also gave the example of the Catholic Revival and the development of his own Old Catholic or Anglo-Catholic Faith during the time of the Catholic Reformation before Vatican II, when certain ancient traditions were abandonned, only to be scavanged up by derilect, Old Catholic priests who would perserve them and let them survive through history.
A religious institution can attempt to destory its fundamentals—tearing apart sacred vestaments; melting down priceless chalices & crucifixes, standards & staffs for the value of the gold; destroying a rich artistic heritage of traditional iconography all in the name of Modernization—but the fundamental faith remains. Separate demonations dissolve or separate into factions, often in disaccordance and conflict, but as discussed earlier in this article, religious community members learn to quiet many of their urges to argue, so that we all still are able to share the same fundamental Faith in a Higher Power.
We all remain Christian. And, even distant alternatives to Christianity (Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism...Pagan Faiths, even) begin to converge around a certain, fundamentally human belief in what is good, in what is Faith, and in the Divine. Faith survives all conflict or isolation and history's ravaging of traditions, because it is fundamental, not Fundamentalist.
For Church communities to survive (and this relates to the earlier discussion on the Holy Redeemer Catholic Church, situated in the direct center of a thriving gay community, with many gay parishioners), if you want to be a member of a Faith Community (of any community) you must accept certain rules and regulations of that group. It's about maintaining equilibrium.
Where there is good, there is bad—accomplishment; struggle—but the good always prevails; or so Fthr. Stephen argued. But through all of my horrendous experiences over these last six years, I had to argue back: "If it's all a matter of equilibrium, then why has there been such a powerfully destructive imbalance between the positive and the negative in my life?" Rev. Stephen responded with his hands turned up, his elbows in and his shoulders down in a shrug, "That's just the truth of life," he answered back.
Honestly, I'm not sure if that was a sufficient answer for me, but before I could argue against that response, Rev. Stephen returned to the message of one of his previous Homilies (a theme that often reoccurs in his sermons): that he, as a leader of Faith, cannot determine another person's path in life and cannot therefore provide definite, complete answers to the whys and wherefores of the cruelty of Life. That is something that someone has to determine or figure out for themselves, as they progress toward the realization of their full, complete relationship with God in Faith.
He explained again, as he has before, that I am "coming ito a new understanding of my gifts in life." He tried to pet my sore, wounded ego then by quoting a statement from a female Saint of the early 20th Century; "Jobs become obsolete; talents don't!" And he continued the lesson he has often preached to me, by explaining, "It's only in learning to use our new and hidden gifts, that we may grow into our full potential" (again, I paraphrase, but the essence of his holy message is implied in this quotation).
I recognize that I am finding immense fulfillment in discovering my new gifts and pathways toward Salvation and have begun the process of moving forward. I even have a little momentum, but I just have to admit that I also have many handicaps and hangups to stuggle against.
That is when I argued that the struggle and journey toward reaching one's full potential often leads one to realize new discoveries, but it also may often cause us to trip over and over on potholes and missteps. The journey is about battling against the pitfalls and hangups; or, at least, it is about finding an "equilibrium" between the momentum, traction, friction, tread and reversals.
My chaplain then argued that these hangups and tragedies in life are a result of one's constant struggle, especially as a closeted gay adolescent or young man, to fight the mold that society has pushed him into, and we rebel in very reactionary, destructive ways: self-destructive tendencies, which are the result of our lack of self-awareness as young people. Despite all the destruction and failures though, God's love for us endures. That is what we can trust in and count on. That was Fthr. Stephen's ultimate message to me with his Homily today.
And I very much was attentively attuned to his arguments, appreciating the opportunity to share in the extemporaneous development of his Homily through dialogue, discussion, rebuttal and response. This participatory style of preaching through conversation lends itself to both our intuitive, complex, circular, disjunctured intellects, so that we have both been able to stimulate each other's rational though and peaceful non-consiliatory arguments, and to come to realize and engender very remarkable instances of distinct wisdom in Faith.
This is why I am so grateful to have the support of such an engaging, supportive, compassionate, faithful spiritual guide or religious leader involved in my life on a weekly basis, because it keeps me constantly attuned to developments in my relationship with my Higher Power.
These weekly Old Catholic Homily dialogues, combined with weekly Buddhist Meditation & Recovery meetings at the Zen Center - San Francisco with Steven Tierney, Ed.D, CAS (my mentor and dear friend) and with my new Zen Recovery "Sanga" or Faith Community, keeps me primed for some valuable discoveries and realizations about my relationship with God, about the crippling control my disease & addiction have over me, and how only my Faith in the reaching of my full potential in God's eyes, will allow me to overcome my addiction.
I'm well through the first three steps of Recovery (even without a Sponsor yet), and I am constantly practicing the principles of Step 11 on nearly a daily basis. More praying and meditation wouldn't hurt, though! I wouldn't want to jinx my progress! It's about finding equilibrium! I'm not sure if all the 10 & 12 & 15 year recovering addicts I encounter at NA & CMA meetings would necessarily agree with this concept. They would at least argue that there's no place for drug and alcohol abuse & addiction in Equilibrium; because, in fact, active use would only disrupt the balance of our Faith & Spirit constantly, dramatically, viciously.
Once one has gained sobriety and has begun the battle to contol and sustain it, then they might be able to balance all the real, standing, human negatives of life with an even more clear, exaltant, sober experience of the positives—knowing that God's love for us will always endure, and that Enlightenment & Perfection are, yes, realistically attainable.
There is hope and beauty in the World, despite the simultaneous existance of their exact hideous and despairing opposities; and this is a reason to keep fighting to realize one's true gifts in life: to find balance (or even to somewhat expertly control the balance) between the pluses and the minuses. That is the intuitive conclusion I have come to realize by having this Homily today personalized to my particular circumstances and by continuing my participation in the study of these religious teachings, through the platform and outlet of this blog exercise.
I am grateful to have this opportunity to collect, record and publish my thoughts to the world. Even though, my followeres are few; I maintain quiet, serene, satisfied hope that maybe (just maybe) one day the writing of my opinions, thoughts and curious contemplations will move some people to strengthen their Faith and their beliefs and their morals and their intellect. And to maybe (just maybe) one day have more people join me in dialogue to help boarden our minds & our own beliefs.
That is what I hope I might gain from this blog endeavor, and that is where I will end my pontications for now. Thank you for reading! Please be encouraged to post your own thoughts as comments on this blog entry or on others. Ideally, I would aslo like this blog to be used as a way to develop a connection with a wider network of friends and supporters. That would be great! Thank You! Peace Out! Cheers! Namaste!
In God's Love...
Most Sincerely,
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew Blanchard
San Francisco, CA
SAY NOTHING OF MY RELIGION. IT IS KNOWN TO GOD & MYSELF ALONE.
IT'S EVIDENCE BEFORE THE WORLD IS TO BE SOUGHT IN MY LIFE: IF IT
HAS BEEN HONEST & DUTIFUL TO SOCIETY THE RELIGION WHICH HAS
REGULATED IT CANNOT BE A BAD ONE.
— Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
THE TRUE MEANING OF RELIGION IS THUS NOT SIMPLY MORALITY,
BUT MORALITY TOUCHED BY EMOTION.
— Matthew Arnold (1822-1888), 'Literature & Dogma,' preface to 1883 ed.
IF YOU CAN'T HAVE FAITH IN WHAT IS HELD UP TO YOU FOR FAITH, YOU
MUST FIND THINGS TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, FOR A LIFE WITHOUT FAITH
IN SOMETHING IS TOO NARROW A SPACE TO LIVE.
— George E. Woodberry
[MB2009.03.20@03:37PMPST]
[MB2009.04.02@08.24AMPST]
As Fthr. Stephen calls himself an intuitive thinker (as am I) and not a linear thinker, our conversation was rather rambling and curvaceous in its style, so it's difficult synopsizing the themes of our discussion in a logical format; because we let the conversation: a nontraditional though very personalized Homily, flow through and around ideas, examining each one of them briefly as they came into discussion.
But I will try to condense the Homily in an intelligible manner, so that readers of this blog entry might fully comprehend and be inspired by the immense wisdom that was shared spontaneously between two friends in Faith.
Before Fthr. Stephen read of the Gospel, we had a lengthy conversation that was ignited by a realization that there is a distinct difficulty in the GLBTQ community for men & women to practice a religion in a proper congregation of any denomination, while its easier for them to be disconnected from a church and yet to retain an enduring faith in God—The Father, and his sacrifice: his only son, Jesus Christ.
We both noticed how difficult it has been in our lives to find a church community that is accepting and welcoming and loving of us as gay men (or merely as anonymous individuals, even; regardless of our sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, gender, creed—or because of it?). Fthr. Stephen suggests that women in all fashions of the church are usually more welcoming than men (even in non-faith communities) in general, and men are more stoic & reserved and uninviting.
This, I proclaimed indignantly, was the reason why the gay community is so weak in faith and elsewhere in social life and community. Rev. Stephen agreed with me with a nod, a smile, and a confirming, concise response, "Exactly." He then described his personal experience living in Europe, in order to demonstrate how Anglo-Saxon/Americans have a tendency to compartmentalize their lives and sternly separate faith from function—contrary to Europeans.
He said that, in Europe, one can move in between and around the various aspects of one's personality without offending anyone, without being judged, and without negatively affecting the natural flow of conversation. In Europe, you can live as your true self and speak harmoniously of sexual orientation and religion in the same sentence.
Fthr. Stephen then continued to emphasis the obvious distinction between Religion & Faith, and between institutional leadership & congregational leadership in the Church. One is community-driven; it thrives on the strength of a small close knit group of parishioners. One is a megalithic administration that values more the increase of their already expansive wealth over parishioners as a community of individual followers of one common Faith. And lastly, there's the independent, rejected outcast of the Church, who still manages to salvage, nurture and grow his own Faith and Practice privately.
But community is primarily responsible for the survival of the Church, and many gay men & women (such as the parishioners of the Holy Redeemer Catholic Church in the Castro District of San Francisco, who blindly accept the bigotry and judgment against their lifestyles and values in sermon and in practice of the Church leadership & community, and still nonetheless follow along, deftly silencing any impulse toward rebuttal of what they hear and see from their conservative heterosexual church members and clergy; because they want (they need) to stay part of this particular Faith Community.
The truth is that in every group or community (or even political organization), there are unique rules and regulations, mores & maxims that members must obey, rather than risk disintegrating the community through internal strife and disagreement. Members of a community (social, religious, political or otherwise) must abandon or quench some of their most potent, inspired values and ideas for the sake of the group maintaining its salience.
The dialogue about faith and the GLBTQ communities in America took a biting, sardonic tone, when it was turned toward current pop culture news & events by Fthr. Stephen's mentioning of the "OctoMom." What he revealed to me about the "OctoMom", based on news he had heard in conversation with colleagues and in reading various international news journals, was actually very revelatory—although tragically ironic or an oxymoron (even worse!). He explained that there is a certain potently vocal group of Christian Fundamentalist Church leaders who have begun to argue that the "OctoMom" phenomenon is the fault of the Homosexuals.
"What!? Why in the world? How in the world could they come to that conclusion?" I questioned. Rev. Stephen explained further that the Fundamentalist Christian Right Wing community is circulating the idea that this poor woman felt obligated to birth all eight babies because she was "fighting to preserve the Heterosexual race" against a detrimentally prolific propagating of gay people all over the World!!
I was stunned, shocked, appalled! Primarily, because I distinctly remember viewing a RadarTV.com television interview with the "OctoMom", where she defensively confessed in her own uniquely reasonable and rational way that she "wouldn't put the kids up for adoption, and...could have never killed the embryos, because they were human life. That'd be murder!"
What's so ironic is that this particular rationale: the obligation to produce or "save" life because unfertilized embryos are human beings, is the same rationale that serves as the backbone of all Right Wing Christian Fundamentalist arguments against Human Embryonic Stem Cell Research—research that may just very well lead to the curing of many of humankind's most devastating diseases and infirmities, and may one day prove to see the paralyzed take their "first steps on Earth."
So it just logically seems to me that the "OctoMom" and her fourteen children are the direct product of Conservative Fundamentalists and of the extreme pro-life rhetoric and values of the Christian Church or some far Right (but horribly wrong!) Denomination; and the phenomenon is not the fault of a gay population take over. Funny though! Chances are that at least 6 of her children will end up struggling with their sexual identity in their adolescence and turn out to be gay or lesbian. Hah Hah!
See! We are taking over! It's our own covert operation to progressively eliminate the entire Heterosexual Race, but that would only be possible if Darwin's theories of "Survival of the Fittest" & "Evolution" were sound & true. The Christians would never admit to That! Oh God! Can you imagine? It would turn the world in spirals downward so low we'd all be engulfed in the flames at the core of the Earth and suffer eternally in Purgatory!! Sense the cynicism and sarcasm? Hell, I couldn't make it any more blatantly obvious. Hehehehe!
Upon the frustrating end to the "OctoMom" topic, Fthr. Stephen read some of the verses of today's Gospel (the first half to 2/3) and began to focus in to discuss the essence of his Homily. The scripture reads (and I paraphrase; because we all have the right to take certain liberties with the Bible, as it has been so many times so loosely and biasedly translated; and because, I'm not much of a fan of the King James Version translation that I've cited at the start of this article): Whoso eateth of the flesh of the Son and drinketh of his blood will live forever! That statement, in and of itself, represents one of the many core values or sentiments of our religion.
Rev. Stephen enlighted me by guiding me to the realization that this is an open, non-prejudicial or non-segregatory statement. In this simple, succinct statement, there is not mention of anything remotely related to classifications based on race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, marital status or sin. All that one needs to be worthy of eternal life in the emaculate bliss of Heaven is to have faith enough to believe that the bread of Christ is the flesh of Christ; and the wine, his blood.
Eternal life is our gift for having faith enough to eat of the flesh of Jesus and drink of his blood: a gruesome, cannabilistic, vampyric action or simply a symbolic gesture: an expression of our profoundly complex individual Faith in God and in the Life, Death and the Miracles of his only son, Jesus Christ. "It's about the fundamentals not the Fundamentalists," Fthr. Stephen declared. "As Paul the Apostle preached, Absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love for each of us!" he added.
Bringing the dialogue in a complete circle, limiting any tangential sway from the crux of his message: his Homily, Fthr. Stephen argued again of the conflict between Church Community and Church Leadership (Congregation vs. Institution), believing that when conflict arises between the two and a follower is admonished and rejected by the religious community, faith can still survive outside the Church.
For example, in Ancient empirical Japan, all religious institutions were systematically abolished by the Empire, but the Faith and the Practices of Buddhism & Confucionism have nontheless survived until today, thousands of years! Fthr. Stephen also gave the example of the Catholic Revival and the development of his own Old Catholic or Anglo-Catholic Faith during the time of the Catholic Reformation before Vatican II, when certain ancient traditions were abandonned, only to be scavanged up by derilect, Old Catholic priests who would perserve them and let them survive through history.
A religious institution can attempt to destory its fundamentals—tearing apart sacred vestaments; melting down priceless chalices & crucifixes, standards & staffs for the value of the gold; destroying a rich artistic heritage of traditional iconography all in the name of Modernization—but the fundamental faith remains. Separate demonations dissolve or separate into factions, often in disaccordance and conflict, but as discussed earlier in this article, religious community members learn to quiet many of their urges to argue, so that we all still are able to share the same fundamental Faith in a Higher Power.
We all remain Christian. And, even distant alternatives to Christianity (Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism...Pagan Faiths, even) begin to converge around a certain, fundamentally human belief in what is good, in what is Faith, and in the Divine. Faith survives all conflict or isolation and history's ravaging of traditions, because it is fundamental, not Fundamentalist.
For Church communities to survive (and this relates to the earlier discussion on the Holy Redeemer Catholic Church, situated in the direct center of a thriving gay community, with many gay parishioners), if you want to be a member of a Faith Community (of any community) you must accept certain rules and regulations of that group. It's about maintaining equilibrium.
Where there is good, there is bad—accomplishment; struggle—but the good always prevails; or so Fthr. Stephen argued. But through all of my horrendous experiences over these last six years, I had to argue back: "If it's all a matter of equilibrium, then why has there been such a powerfully destructive imbalance between the positive and the negative in my life?" Rev. Stephen responded with his hands turned up, his elbows in and his shoulders down in a shrug, "That's just the truth of life," he answered back.
Honestly, I'm not sure if that was a sufficient answer for me, but before I could argue against that response, Rev. Stephen returned to the message of one of his previous Homilies (a theme that often reoccurs in his sermons): that he, as a leader of Faith, cannot determine another person's path in life and cannot therefore provide definite, complete answers to the whys and wherefores of the cruelty of Life. That is something that someone has to determine or figure out for themselves, as they progress toward the realization of their full, complete relationship with God in Faith.
He explained again, as he has before, that I am "coming ito a new understanding of my gifts in life." He tried to pet my sore, wounded ego then by quoting a statement from a female Saint of the early 20th Century; "Jobs become obsolete; talents don't!" And he continued the lesson he has often preached to me, by explaining, "It's only in learning to use our new and hidden gifts, that we may grow into our full potential" (again, I paraphrase, but the essence of his holy message is implied in this quotation).
I recognize that I am finding immense fulfillment in discovering my new gifts and pathways toward Salvation and have begun the process of moving forward. I even have a little momentum, but I just have to admit that I also have many handicaps and hangups to stuggle against.
That is when I argued that the struggle and journey toward reaching one's full potential often leads one to realize new discoveries, but it also may often cause us to trip over and over on potholes and missteps. The journey is about battling against the pitfalls and hangups; or, at least, it is about finding an "equilibrium" between the momentum, traction, friction, tread and reversals.
My chaplain then argued that these hangups and tragedies in life are a result of one's constant struggle, especially as a closeted gay adolescent or young man, to fight the mold that society has pushed him into, and we rebel in very reactionary, destructive ways: self-destructive tendencies, which are the result of our lack of self-awareness as young people. Despite all the destruction and failures though, God's love for us endures. That is what we can trust in and count on. That was Fthr. Stephen's ultimate message to me with his Homily today.
And I very much was attentively attuned to his arguments, appreciating the opportunity to share in the extemporaneous development of his Homily through dialogue, discussion, rebuttal and response. This participatory style of preaching through conversation lends itself to both our intuitive, complex, circular, disjunctured intellects, so that we have both been able to stimulate each other's rational though and peaceful non-consiliatory arguments, and to come to realize and engender very remarkable instances of distinct wisdom in Faith.
This is why I am so grateful to have the support of such an engaging, supportive, compassionate, faithful spiritual guide or religious leader involved in my life on a weekly basis, because it keeps me constantly attuned to developments in my relationship with my Higher Power.
These weekly Old Catholic Homily dialogues, combined with weekly Buddhist Meditation & Recovery meetings at the Zen Center - San Francisco with Steven Tierney, Ed.D, CAS (my mentor and dear friend) and with my new Zen Recovery "Sanga" or Faith Community, keeps me primed for some valuable discoveries and realizations about my relationship with God, about the crippling control my disease & addiction have over me, and how only my Faith in the reaching of my full potential in God's eyes, will allow me to overcome my addiction.
I'm well through the first three steps of Recovery (even without a Sponsor yet), and I am constantly practicing the principles of Step 11 on nearly a daily basis. More praying and meditation wouldn't hurt, though! I wouldn't want to jinx my progress! It's about finding equilibrium! I'm not sure if all the 10 & 12 & 15 year recovering addicts I encounter at NA & CMA meetings would necessarily agree with this concept. They would at least argue that there's no place for drug and alcohol abuse & addiction in Equilibrium; because, in fact, active use would only disrupt the balance of our Faith & Spirit constantly, dramatically, viciously.
Once one has gained sobriety and has begun the battle to contol and sustain it, then they might be able to balance all the real, standing, human negatives of life with an even more clear, exaltant, sober experience of the positives—knowing that God's love for us will always endure, and that Enlightenment & Perfection are, yes, realistically attainable.
There is hope and beauty in the World, despite the simultaneous existance of their exact hideous and despairing opposities; and this is a reason to keep fighting to realize one's true gifts in life: to find balance (or even to somewhat expertly control the balance) between the pluses and the minuses. That is the intuitive conclusion I have come to realize by having this Homily today personalized to my particular circumstances and by continuing my participation in the study of these religious teachings, through the platform and outlet of this blog exercise.
I am grateful to have this opportunity to collect, record and publish my thoughts to the world. Even though, my followeres are few; I maintain quiet, serene, satisfied hope that maybe (just maybe) one day the writing of my opinions, thoughts and curious contemplations will move some people to strengthen their Faith and their beliefs and their morals and their intellect. And to maybe (just maybe) one day have more people join me in dialogue to help boarden our minds & our own beliefs.
That is what I hope I might gain from this blog endeavor, and that is where I will end my pontications for now. Thank you for reading! Please be encouraged to post your own thoughts as comments on this blog entry or on others. Ideally, I would aslo like this blog to be used as a way to develop a connection with a wider network of friends and supporters. That would be great! Thank You! Peace Out! Cheers! Namaste!
In God's Love...
Most Sincerely,
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew Blanchard
San Francisco, CA
SAY NOTHING OF MY RELIGION. IT IS KNOWN TO GOD & MYSELF ALONE.
IT'S EVIDENCE BEFORE THE WORLD IS TO BE SOUGHT IN MY LIFE: IF IT
HAS BEEN HONEST & DUTIFUL TO SOCIETY THE RELIGION WHICH HAS
REGULATED IT CANNOT BE A BAD ONE.
— Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
THE TRUE MEANING OF RELIGION IS THUS NOT SIMPLY MORALITY,
BUT MORALITY TOUCHED BY EMOTION.
— Matthew Arnold (1822-1888), 'Literature & Dogma,' preface to 1883 ed.
IF YOU CAN'T HAVE FAITH IN WHAT IS HELD UP TO YOU FOR FAITH, YOU
MUST FIND THINGS TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, FOR A LIFE WITHOUT FAITH
IN SOMETHING IS TOO NARROW A SPACE TO LIVE.
— George E. Woodberry
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