A LOOK BACK @ 18MTHS. OF HOPE!!

A LOOK BACK! At 60DAYS SOBER, ... I once concluded that "I JUST have an UGLY face." However, despite the devastation of disfigurement, I was/am still conscience & cognizant of the fact that my Seventh Chakra shines – Sahasrara : "The Thousand-Petaled Lotus" – "signifying & assuring QHereKidSF of his supreme consciousness & sublime connection to the cerebral, spiritual & physical worlds" (cf. http://youtu.be/gg8mjhUqSpw – below).

At 1YR. CLEAN, I affirmed "BEAUTY!" ... "But, only at God's speed. God willing" : the choice words Director Daniel Cardone & I used to frame the closing of CONSTRUCT, our "epic" (not in length, but rather in magnitude of reverberation & depth) experimental docu-short, filmed as part of The HIV Story Project's STILL AROUND 2010 compilation (Exec. Producer: Jörg Fockele; Producer: Marc Smolowitz), which together feature a day-in-the-life of 15 individual PWA (i.e., People With AIDS) protagonists.

Now, today... At 18.5MTHS. OF HOPE (not dope!), I take the stage in a short time to proclaim how indeed I am finally & once again ablaze with "DESIRE" : red hot & risen, redeemed & reborn; as a "PHOENIX a'FIRE" (cf. "Resident Alien" - the Sins Invalid Artists In Residence Show), who prances, dances and sings poemsongs of Paphian pleasantries, indulgences & delights...

As my Sins Invalid artist bio reads, I am: "grateful for God's boundless love of & faith in [my] own purely imperfect and human desire 'for elaborate beautification & solemn self-betterment" (cf. CONSTRUCT, 2011). "But, then again, I'll be quick to say: We live to die and die to live... Forever! Come what may." (cf. JEER NOT! FEAR NOT!!; "Resident Alien," 2011).

STAY TUNED!! for my "flagrantly unfettered" foretelling of a future full of fortitude, good fortune, and truly "fag-o-licious fabulosity" of face... SUBSCRIBE TO MY YouTube® CHANNEL – mindflux | matt(e)o | mayhem : http://youtube.com/qherekidsf.

Cheers! Ciao & Namaste...
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew D. Blanchard
matthew@qherekidsf.com
http://bit.ly/qherekidsf

San Francisco, CA USA
[20110125T071435PST]

Dictionary.com : "PAPHIAN LOVE TEMPLE"

Late this evening, I decided finally to sign on as a Registered User of Dictionary.com; and to my delight, upon viewing their homepage after registration, I was slapped straight over my short, lil' sliver of a misshapen schnoz by one right retrospectively referential (i.e., as robustly realistic painted portraiture) and new, yet unrecognized and erudite vocabulary word:

PAPHIAN : [pey-fee-uhn] or /ˈpeɪfiən/
— adjective

1. of or pertaining to Paphos, an ancient city of Cyprus sacred to Aphrodite.
2. of or pertaining to love, esp. illicit sexual love; erotic; wanton.
3. noting or pertaining to Aphrodite or to her worship or service.

— noun

1. the Paphian, Aphrodite: so called from her cult center at Paphos.
2. ( often lowercase ) a prostitute.

Origin:
1605–15;  < L Paphi ( us ) (< Gk Páphios  of Paphos, of Aphrodite) + -an

"Paphian." Dictionary.com Unabridged, Random House, Inc. 24 Jan. 2011.
< Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Paphian >.

On the Dictionary.com homepage, an abstracted meaning of PAPHIAN: Word of The Day (Jan. 24, 2011), appeared in large font just below the main menu of links of the left-hand sidebar. The definition there simply read: "of or pertaining to love, esp. illicit physical love." Surely, such a term and the words that define its meaning would catch the curious, meandering eyes of any unsuspecting Site Visitor or Registered User. 

Of course, one may easily recognize the obvious ploy that Dictionary.com Site Moderators had made to foster an increase in quick on the uptake "CLICK THRUs" and site traffic. Who wouldn't be immediately reeled in by mention of any word "pertaining to ... illicit physical love?" Without a single hesitation, I surely was taken aback and taken in. 

What allured me so to a furthered investigation of the multiple definitions of PAPHIAN was the alliterative resemblance this particularly patrician nominal descriptor has to that oh-so particular-to-me proper noun (i.e., "a great big fiery bird") from which my drag-burlesque musical number for "Resident Alien" – Sins Invalid Artists In Residence Show takes its title: PHOENIX a'FIRE!! 

In retrospect, as mentioned, I realized that this word (i.e., PAPHIAN) would have served as a brilliant addition to the alliteratively rhymed lyrics of my quite-so quintessentially QHereKidSF poemsong. Had I discovered the word weeks prior, I would have been able to elaborate successfully upon the song with yet another perfectly pedantic, prettily unplebeian, poetic term: PAPHIAN. 

But, alas! With our performances set to debut in 2 to 3 days, there would be absolutely no allowance of time nor attention dealt to QHereKidSF for the reworking of these lyrics. Such a feat would be impossible to devise! So, I was left a bit begrudged by my charismatically quick and cut-dry uptake of the term; however, my frustrations did not stop me from indulging myself in further investigation of the word through quotations. Little did I know that my linking to a quote by George Bernard Shaw would lead me to an unsatisfactory and equally enervating "dead end."  

Shaw's use of the word, PAPHIAN, is a masterpiece of the Reformist Socialist literary genre, which Shaw himself engendered; in that, his small passage of prose does preserve an eloquent simplicity of expression that is not hindered nor by pedantry, nor by plethora of challenging lexicon:

I THINK I WALKED THROUGH LIFE AT THAT TIME LIKE A SOMNAMBULIST; FOR I HAVE SINCE SEEN THAT I MUST HAVE BEEN PILING MISTAKE UPON MISTAKE UNTIL OUT OF A CHAOS OF MEANINGLESS WORDS AND SMILES I HAD WOVEN A PAPHIAN LOVE TEMPLE.

— George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), Anglo-Irish Socialist playwright, critic.

The Irrational Knot: Book II, Chapter XIV, p. 286. Brentano's; New York, 1918.

http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/archive/2011/01/24.html

(accessed: January 24, 2011).

Indeed, to what "dead end" did I arrive upon accessing the Dictionary.com: Word of The Day page, earlier this evening? To my disgruntled dismay, Shaw's quotation on this page had no link to a separate but particularly applicable resource page, as is the usual standard for Dictionary.com. 

The extended source notes written in the attribution above, I discovered through extensive Internet research which lead me to the Archive.org original text browser for Shaw's The Irrational Knot, at the following URL: http://www.archive.org/stream/irrationalknotbe00shawiala (accessed: January 24, 2011). From there, I was able to enter the key phrase "PAPHIAN LOVE TEMPLE" into the file-specific search engine at the top-right of the webpage. Thus, I was lead to the exact page (p. 286) in the original work, whereon Shaw writ the quotation presented above. Below is the direct image of that page:

If perchance, Dictionary.com Site Moderators come across this blog post as a NOTE available on my Facebook Profile: http://facebook.com/mblanchard79, then I hope that they would seek to rectify the apparent "loose/dead ends" that are leaving site visitors, like myself, in the lurch. 

I kindly request that Dictionary.com: Word of The Day Quotations be integrated into the "QUOTES" Section and subdomain of the website; otherwise, those visitors to Dictionary.com interested in citing a source for these quotes will not be able to do so without a seriously deep dive into the vast cyberwaves of the Internet. 

And, of course, if Dictionary.com cannot readily remedy this perturbing situation with all its quotation source "dead ends," then could Site Moderators, please, at least add Shaw's "PAPHIAN LOVE TEMPLE" quotation, cited and attributed correctly above, to the Dictionary.com "QUOTES" Section and subdomain?

  

With these humble requests, I gratefully close this extemporaneous explication and evaluation of Dictionary.com: Word of The Day feature. I'm thankful to have been invited and encouraged by Dictionary.com to add a new word: PAPHIAN, to my ever expanding vocabulary. Furthermore, I look forward to continuing to broaden my familiarity with the numerous valuable features available to Dictionary.com Registered Users, as I embark now on a more informed, thus more frugal and less frantic foray into the depths of such Web-based Vocabulary Resources as those provided by Dictionary.com. Thank you!! Cheers! Ciao. Namaste... (i.e., I bow to the gods within you).

Respectfully submitted,

Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF

Matthew D. Blanchard

http://bit.ly/qherekidsf 

[20110124T222715PST]

San Francisco, CA USA

Alien Annuciation: Unearthing My Sacred Self

The following is a dramatic monologue I prepared for my SINS INVALID Artists In Residence "Resident Alien" Performance Showcase; however, this exact text will NOT be performed the evening's of the show. I therefore am now at liberty to share some of the copious work I have been preparing for performance during the last nine months for review by my peers. Please indulge me with your insights into this work; provide your own critical response and feedback, and I will be happy to take whatever you have to say to heart when considering revisions of the piece for future performance.

ALIEN ANNUCIATION:
Unearthing My Sacred Self

Fuck! Face it!! I’m a fagged-out, ferocious, Fog City funambule Freak Show — or Peep Show, depending on the scene [chuckles] — fabulously fucked in the head — HOLE! — for far too long [laughs outright]. FUN? For sure!! If by chance, you get some crazed, cracked-out, masochistic satisfaction from — OH! SO SAD! — strangely spiritual & surreal stories of catastrophic crystal-lined “Quarter-Life” crises, then maybe I’m your man!!

The mindflux & mayhem of this “MATTO” Matteo manifest as anxiety, manic depression, numerous non-specified personality disorders, coupled with devastatingly detrimental drug dependency and HIV/AIDS disease — BAM! Axes one through five, in no specific order!! My psychiatrists would all be proud. During the long-stretched syndrome of illness, disease & disorder that is my dismal, abysmal life, I was only ever once lost to languid torpor; torpor which turned out tantamount to torturous (i.e., id est… the ten to twelve days I laid unconscious, inactive & still; the skin & bone of my once boyhood beautiful face pressed flat, flush, firm & dying against a putrid, pestilent pillow).

Yet, for a time, prior to my tragically traumatic end, back before my whole “Fuck! Face it!!” mantra came into play, I once touted myself better than plainly pretty & princely. Back before my very real ruination ripped apart my smile; before antipsychotic psychotropics pretty much fucked up, tore down and all but annihilated my lachrymose libido, I spent my days super-speedy, sexed-up & salivating for raucously wild & raunchy “fag-fornication” – E, K, G… Crystal Methamphetamine sure’nough spewing from my sweaty, slimy skin!!

For lack of food, lack of sleep, but with no shortage of insanely over-indulgent fucking, I was led libidinally through a caustic, quixotic, voraciously vivacious and virulent six month schizoid-delusional messianic mania (i.e., id est… “crazed and cracked-out,” I told you!!). Here’s how the story goes…

After twenty-four-plus hours of positively preposterous unguided, temper-tantrumed and tweaked-out tantric yoga, I found myself falling flat on the floor from a backbend. In a glorious instance, I could both hear, feel and fear my mightily tight military neck flicker from firm to flaccid to flat with a couple of cracks and a crunch. 

Then, out of nowhere, but to my tearfully giggled and enraptured delight, the “cycloptic” serpentine energy force of my kundalini uncoiled itself three & 1/2 fold from deep within the pit of my scrotum, as if a cataclysmically massive monster cock was fucking me from bottom-end to top-end entirely. My phallic kundalini snaked its way like speed-lightening straight up my squarely smacked flat spine, erupting explosively through each of my leveled & loosely lain chakras. Past my shoulders. Into my head. All with a sparklingly celestial shudder of glee!!

My voraciously virulent kundalini energy force broke the blood/brain barrier with the cracking and collapsing of my never near too straight again neck, and was free!! At that moment, deep from within a blinding, brilliant light, I saw the rebirth and renewal of all life, the reunification and redemption of retaliatory religions of the World, embodied as a dying leafless triple-branched tree: a familiar scenic device of Beckett’s brain, symbolizing the existential nihilism inherent in “waiting for God…”

But, the tree at the center of my powerfully immaculate vision was quite unlike the grey, lifeless, hollow-trunked, death-determined tree that so thwarted the mindless meanderings of Vladimir and Estragon. The tree at the center of my celestial light budded a new growth, new birth branch with a single, glowing emerald green leaf which dripped dew of heavenly angelic gold from its tip.

Two Men Contemplating the Moon, ca. 1830
Caspar David Friedrich (German, 1774-1840)
Oil on Canas, 13 3/4 x 17 1/4in. (34.9 x 43.8cm)
The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York,
Wrightsman Fund, 2000 (2000.51)

My kundalini force thrust me thankfully toward my heavenly father – at least, I’d hoped it would – through ungodly, goliath insanity and bliss. Thus began the potent perversion of my intellect, my psyche, as I set off on a profoundly esoteric and spiritually pious six month search for the “One,” Almighty God.

Six days to six weeks, I spent alone, shut up in my sparse, stark and sullen studio apartment, spiraling my insanity into a chaotic hoarded mess, savagely searching for God. No, I didn’t find him…or her…or them. Well, maybe them!! If you’re one to consider the sublime god force a pluralist spiritual entity, then I’m almost certain that my schizoid-delusional miscomprehension of individual life forces, as being all parts of a prophetically benevolent community of angel/aliens who had come calling for me as a veritable “MATTO” Matteo, would have intrigued and enticed both your own spiritual and intellectual curiosity.

So, I didn’t find Him (or “Her”) in my search for the Divine, but I did find my own angelic alien annunciation as a “Gift of God” : Matthew, for I believe with all my kundalini life force that during this six month psychosis, I was being suited by a community of angel/aliens for my god-given, divinely apostolic duty to proclaim to the World the imminent arrival of a purely peaceful, nonviolent, anti-diabolic Armageddon.

I was called upon, or so much I wholeheartedly believed, to return from the “deathspace” transexualized and impregnated with an angel/alien Christ-child to usher in the climactic rebirth, re-growth and cultivation of a global unifying force: a “Garden of Eden,” Elysian Fields, Les Champs Élysées leading into more than just a city, but rather into a World of lights, illumination, rapture!!

I speak of chakras and kundalini sparingly here; even though, these words as psychic phenomena seem to predominate my prose. But, don’t get me wrong! I’m a good faith, good Catholic, Christian boy of Franco-Polish Hebraic descent; therefore, the word “RAPTURE” should make more sense!

You’d sooner find me carving a Cherokee totem disparaging my colonial heritage as self-proclaimed proudly pompous, well-educated elite alum of Jefferson’s own “Alma Mater of Our Nation.” Hell! You’d sooner find me rigging a home-made I.E.D. car-bomb in my Fresno-based meth-lab storage garage while bowing toward Muslim Mecca – No, not GAY MECCA!! – as I pray in istikhara, and offer supplication for divine guidance on how best to cripple and destroy Judeo-American neocolonial forces.

You’d sooner find this white-bred, white trash, euro-mutt, slut, goy-boy American speciously boasting either indigenous or Islamic roots, rather than spiting my own just and good Judeo-Catholic heritage by following blindly the wisdom & stricture of Sanskrit/Hindi yogic faith teachings, if not just as a Eurocentric fad of the intellectual and spiritual post-colonial diasporas…

Yet, sadly still, contrary to my Judeo-Christian biblical heritage and learning – if even as a namesake, merely!! – I did neither see nor encounter my single almighty God, the Father: The Maker of Man, of me, of my mindflux, mayhem and misery. But, I swear on the last remnants of sanity and semblance of beauty that this mad, mad monstrosity of a man may have, I swear…

I saw something! Something real. Unimagined. Something immaculate. Holy. Sublime. In fact, I saw many things, which I remember vividly and in distinct detail, despite near half a decade of dutifully downing each dawn & dusk the fists full of psychotropics my doctors order me to take to keep pace of peace and order in my boyish, good goyish brain.

I could go on and on and on without a single smile – I could, and I should, but I wont! Anyway. – I could catalog… In fact, I HAVE cataloged pages and pages describing the many multitudinous manifestations of my immaculate enlightenment. I could retell my rapture. I could narrate my nirvana; translate my transcendence for you all – I could, and I should, but I won’t! Anyway…

And, why not? Because, trust!! You’d only spurn and scoff at my seemingly spurious, counterfeit, tall, tall torturous tale; even though, it be not torturous, but tender, touching truth!! Unless, of course, you are curious, and have come across us angel/aliens in our own right with open minds and open hearts, then there’d be no point in proclaiming the snippets of specifics of my all too perturbing albeit prophetic schizoid-delusional messianic psychosis.

Respectfully submitted,
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew D. Blanchard
Artist In Residence
SINS INVALID
San Francisco, CA USA
http://bit.ly/qherekidsf
[20110111T235237PST]

WordReference: La honte et l'apprentissage

Façons originales de traduire "CREATE THEATRE," et. al.
En réponse d'une demande de renseignements sur "THEATER" (c.f. MmePitchounette, Senior Member du Forum: Vocabulaire Français/Anglais, de WordReference.com), je vous offre de nombreuses traductions tirées directement de ma propre imagination. Quoique ces exemples soient tous exprimés en une voix formalisée de façon particulière, ainsi qu'en outre le français ne soit pas ma langue maternelle, il n'en demeure quasi pas moins que ces exemples restent valables et pourraient bien vous servir, peut-être. Voici, mes suggestions à vous (par l'ordre de priorité):

DISPLAYS THAT CREATE THEATER & BRING THE BRANDS TO LIFE...

a.) Portant un aura de mystique théâtrale, des étalages en insufflent un nouvelle force aux marques.

b.) Des étalages enveloppés de mystère du théâtre en insufflent une nouvelle force aux marques.

c.) Des étalages qui évoquent l'esprit du théâtre et en insufflent une nouvelle force aux marques.

d.) Des étalages qui créent une sensation théâtrale et en insufflent une nouvelle force aux marques.

e.) Des étalages qui donne naissance au théâtre et en insufflent une nouvelle force aux marques.

f.) Des étalages qui produisent l'effet du théâtre et en insufflent une nouvelle force aux marques.

Comme vous le pouvez voir d'après ces exemples, mon approche ou façon originale d'aborder une propre traduction de votre déclaration écrite comporte multiples tentatives de communiquer le même sentiment en diverses manières, par les activités d'éveil. C'est-à-dire, par le recherche, la découverte, l'expérimentation, le reclassement et le remontage des nouveaux mots de vocabulaire, on pourrait normalement réussir à trouver une belle expression éloquente qui se suffit à elle-même en tant qu'une bonne et propre traduction d'une phrase originale.

Si, dès le début, vous cherchassiez à dire/écrire votre phrase originale de manière le plus convenable: "Displays that create theatre and bring the brands to life," je maintiens une démarche assurée qui suggère que vous deviez tenter d'élaborer d'abord et puis accentuer d'une manière autant inédite que poétique votre usage de la langue française, afin de trouver "une bonne et propre traduction."

Une telle exercice serait non seulement un moyen d'arriver à vos fins, mais elle serait aussi un moyen de profiter de l'occasion d'approfondir l'aisance et la facilité avec lesquelles vous vous exprimez en français.

Voilà, ma philosophie pédagogique vis-à-vis l'apprentissage des langues étrangères:
La bonne pratique courageuse et aventurée d'un langage nouveau et expérimenté auquel on ne soit pas encore tout à fait très bien habitué, permettra aux apprenants d'approfondir leurs connaissances et capacités de s'exprimer en langues étrangères d'une manière la plus éloquente et raffinée que possible.

Il y aura certes quelques-uns parmi vous, les lecteurs et répondants de ce fil de discussion du Forum Vocabulaire Français-Anglais de WordReference.com, qui ne seront pas de tout à fait d'accords ni avec mes traductions suggérées, ni avec ma philosophie et mes conseils, étant donné que le français n'est pas ma langue maternelle.

Au moins je vous aurai fait comprendre et apprécier le résultat efficace, bienveillant et fructueux de ma méthode particulière pour déduire des pseudos belles et bonnes traductions alors que je possède au moins un peu de perspicacité et compréhension uniques et créatives de la manière dont NOUS: Les Anglophones Francophiles, pourrions le plus souvent arriver à très bien traduire une phrase de l'anglais en française (même si le français ne soit pas notre langue maternelle)!!

Bonne chance et bon courage, MmePitchounette... J'espère que tous ce que je viens d'écrire soient pour vous utiles et riches en renseignements. Vous trouverez certes de fautes lexicales et grammaticales partout dans celle-ci, ma petite rédaction sur ma propre méthode à moi d'acquérir et approfondir une meilleure connaissance de la langue française. Néanmoins ou malgré tout, j'espère ainsi que je ne fusse pas arrivé à me plonger dans l'embarras ni à me sentir gêné par mes plusieurs fautes. La honte est surtout l'ennemie de l'apprentissage!!

Cheers! Ciao & Namaste...
Cordialement,
Mathieu/Matt(e)o
__________________
M. Blanchard | QHereKidSF (San Francisco, CA USA)