In Grateful Recognition of Your Support...

To commemorate my second year of philanthropic fundraising for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and in support of HIV/AIDS Prevention & Care Advocacy Services throughout the Bay Area (incl. Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.), I am overwhelmed with both pride, and – of course! – gratitude to have the distinct privilege of announcing that the TOTAL $575.00 USD in funds I raised for AIDS Walk San Francisco 2011 (as of Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 5:30PM PST) well surpassed my initial $500.00 USD pledge, in support of Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.

All AIDS Walk San Francisco 2011 charitable funds raised to-date by Board of Directors & Staff Members of San Francisco AIDS Foundation Community Partner Beneficiary Organizations will be allocated directly back to those benefiting nonprofit organizations. 

Therefore, I am equally privileged and honored to confirm that, in light of my AIDS Walk San Francisco 2011 fundraising successes, I have exceeded my own professional philanthropic fundraising obligations to Bay Area Young Positives, Inc. : San Francisco AIDS Foundation Community Partner Beneficiary (Team #8088), as a Member of the organization's Board of Directors.

In an effort to recognize my grateful appreciation for all donations contributed directly to my AIDS Walk San Francisco 2011 Fundraising Portal: http://awsf2011.kintera.org/qherekidsf, I have designed, composed and distributed another MailChimp.com HTML email communications campaign: http://eepurl.com/eNIJQ (as summarized below):

Matthew Blanchard (a.k.a. QHereKidSF) expresses immense gratitude in recognition of your valued contributions to AIDS Walk San Francisco, benefiting Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.

25th Annual AIDS Walk San Francisco

A Thousand Times, THANK YOU!

In Grateful Appreciation of Your Contributions
Supporting Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.

The Board of Directors of Bay Area Young Positives, Inc. is now (and always has been) indeed immensely grateful to our Benefactors, for their impenetrably selfless support of our organization's mission, of its meaningful work; and, of course, for their contributions to the long and lasting lives of all the beautiful youth survivors whom we proudly call "members."

May you relish in knowing with some certainty that your recent charitable support will go far in sustaining the planning, administration, promotion, and development of an integrally effective and successful program of HIV/AIDS Prevention & Care Youth Advocacy services offered by Bay Area Young Positives, Inc., as means to fulfill the goals of our noble mission: to help HIV/AIDS infected and/or affected youth of the San Francisco Bay Area to live longer, happier, healthier, more productive, and quality-filled lives.

PLEASE NOTE: Incentives will only be distributed to those donors who have provided Bay Area Young Positives, Inc. with an authentic destination shipping address. Trust that your personal contact information will be kept strictly confidential and will never knowingly be shared with any third party. If you would like to decline respectfully any or all of your due incentives, please respond directly to this email with a clear and concise message confirming your polite refusal of specific gifts.

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Ever so rare in life are moments in which we may boast both honor and privilege enough to witness firsthand the direct impact of considerable generosity as exhibited by others' charitable support of one's own personal philanthropic cause. As a representative beneficiary of your significant generosity, I find myself now in a position of such honor, privilege, and even – of course! – responsibility!

Blessed to be able and invited to delight in the pleasures of my immediate professional obligation to respond to your recent gestures in support of Bay Area Young Positives, Inc., I savor the challenge of weaving together the gold-fleece thread of my thoughts into a meaningful expression of most sincere thanks to you.

The immensity of gratitude felt in recognition of your charity truly overwhelms me! Thus, on behalf of the very grateful Board of Directors, staff, and "youth member" constituency of Bay Area Young Positives, Inc., I proudly proclaim tremendous thanks to you, in honor and appreciation of your most generous gestures of good-willed giving to our cause: "Thank you ever so much! A thousand times, THANK YOU!!"

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Regarding the status of the incentives you, as a distinguished donor to my cause, so wholeheartedly deserve, I am obliged to report that thank you notes will be written and distributed as soon as feasibly possible (e.g., within a month's time). Those more substantial incentives that may be due to you, in recognition of charitable contributions of $50.00 USD or more, will be grouped together and shipped to you via first class priority mail, as single incentive packages. I humbly beg you to recognize my plans to group individual incentives into single packages as a necessary, albeit inconvenient, cost-saving measure.

Also, please keep in mind that Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore's anthology of queer cultural criticism essays: WHY ARE FAGGOTS SO AFRAID OF FAGGOTS? Flaming Challenges to Masculinity, Objectification, and the Desire to Conform, will not be available for distribution until after its official release date of Tuesday, February 14, 2012. Consequently, depending on the value of your individual contributions to my cause, your incentive package may not be set to arrive to you until well into next year.

Rest assured! I plan to keep all of my generous donors well informed of the shipping status of their incentives, through a timely distribution of regular updates via email. Such updates will also include donor impact reports that detail just exactly how your contributions are serving the administrative programming needs of Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.

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In closing, I would like to reiterate how honored and privileged I am to be able to delight in the welcomed challenge of communicating both eloquently and expressively the immensity of gratitude I feel in appreciation of your most valued charitable contributions to AIDS Walk SF 2011, supporting Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.

Please know with confidence that your donations to my AIDS Walk SF 2011 fundraising efforts will go very, very far in sustaining, promoting, and developing the vital HIV/AIDS Prevention & Care Youth Advocacy services that Bay Area Young Positives, Inc. provides to San Francisco's community of HIV/AIDS infected and/or affected youth.

In appreciation of your considerable generosity, I say to you again: "Thank you so very much! A thousand times, THANK YOU!!" Stay safe, sane, and sober, my friend! Cheers! Ciao & Namaste: I bow to the gods within you..

With most sincere gratitude...
Respectfully yours,
Matthew D. Blanchard

FOR MORE INFORMATION:
Matthew D. Blanchard
Member, Board of Directors
Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.
matthew@baypositives.org

Respectfully submitted,

Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF

Matthew D. Blanchard

matthew@qherekidsf.com

San Francisco, CA USA

[20110717T181534PST] 

WHY I WALK? (Part Two) : @AIDSWalkSF

HELP SUPPORT My Week-Long Fundraising Pledge...

http://eepurl.com/eJmaI – PLEASE HELP Matthew Blanchard (a.k.a. QHereKidSF) SURPASS his week-long $500 fundraising pledge in support of Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.!

AIDS Walk San Francisco 2011

WHY I WALK? (Part Two)

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HELP SURPASS My $500 Fundraising Pledge!

Donations directly benefit Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.

http://awsf2011.kintera.org/qherekidsf

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With a soft, unpretending and polite voice: a voice ripe with care, compassion and empathy, my younger sister described to me the “difficult challenge” she and other of my closest family members faced back in late 2007 – at the dawn of a miracle and at the dusk of my demise! – when they were forced to confront the very real possibility of my overdose-induced, HIV/AIDS-related death.

Once my diseased, decomposing & comatose body was rushed to the hospital, doctors began their valiant efforts to alleviate my pneumonia, to restore function to my failing kidneys, and to combat – in hopes to conquer! – the poly-microbial necrotizing bacterial infection that had already succeeded in turning the once gentle and happy contours of my handsome smile into a putrid mess of blackened corroded flesh.

The initial prognosis of my critically weakened health was so bleak that doctors were compelled – if not forced by a strict code of ethics! – to contact my family. A triage team of medical care providers informed my closest relatives of my terrible condition, urged my loved ones to ready themselves for my impending death, and requested that they thoughtfully considering together exactly how I would have liked the final directives of my life to be executed.

The story my sister told of my family's own insufferable worry in response to the dreadful possibility of my death fell from her thoughts with surprised suspense:

It was incredible! One day, we were being told that it’d be best for us to prepare for the end. A week later, doctors called again to report that you were stabilizing. Days later, you were still critical but were responding to exterior stimuli. After another week, your foggy eyes peeked open into consciousness. Then, soon enough, you were responding to visual stimuli and were taken off life support.

Before we could catch our breath and put away thoughts of your possible death, you were on the phone with us trying so desperately to communicate your excitement, without a mouth, in spats of very happy giggles, grunts, and moaning. What a roller-coaster; you can imagine! It was a miracle – no question! And, that’s a lot to be said coming from a twenty-something military wife who had long-ago lost her faith. But, only God does miracles; right?

In the glowing radiance of my miraculous rebound back to life from death, I can only attest to the life-saving, life-sustaining force and potential of the myriad members of my social-support and care-provider networks who have remained committed to empowering my continued growth and holistic healing beyond the uncertainty of fragile health, forward toward psycho-social and physical wellness, and in the direction of a complete fulfillment of my ideal future self.

Thanks to vital contributions by countless community-based HIV/AIDS Prevention & Care Service agencies, such as those throughout the San Francisco Bay Area who will most directly benefit from the fundraising efforts of over 25,000 AIDS Walk San Francisco 2011 participants, I have been empowered to make good of these miracles of prolonged life and second chances that have been gifted to me either by God or by science – or both! Who knows?

Without the unrelenting and selfless support of the numerous humble heroes of both my care-provider and social-support networks, I would surely not have been able to sustain my course toward prolonged survival and eventual success in life. This is why I walk!

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Thanks to each of my friends, family members, care providers, and colleagues for your enduring compassion and support! At present, with $450.00 already raised in just under three days, I find myself rejoicing in this unique opportunity I have to witness the direct impact of your generous contributions to my cause.

In grateful recognition of the valued generosity of donors to my cause, each of my supporters who contributes a charitable gift in the amount of or exceeding $25.00 USD, via my Fundraising Portal, shall receive a special note of thanks hand-written on stationery that features a high-quality digital print copy of one of my limited edition hand-crafted rubber block-cut floral prints – in periwinkle and white on brown (as featured above).

http://awsf2011.kintera.org/qherekidsf

Likewise, I hereby commit to keeping all of the many generous donors to my cause well informed of their impact, as the Board of Directors and staff of Bay Area Young Positives, Inc. strives to thrive for several more years to come, in support of all Bay Area youth infected and/or affected by HIV/AIDS. Thanks again!! Cheers! Ciao & Namaste...

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In grateful honor of those innumerable heroes who have helped me redeem my right to live, to survive, to strive, and to thrive in hope, while faced with a disabling AIDS diagnosis, I am planning to participate in the 25th Annual AIDS Walk San Francisco - July 17, 2011!

As a Member of the Board of Directors of Bay Area Young Positives, Inc., one of the San Francisco AIDS Foundation Community Partners (Team #8088), I am committed to raising a minimum of $500 for my organization, during this week prior to the event.

All charitable funds raised by board members and staff of AIDS Walk Beneficiary Organizations will be allocated in full directly back to those participating nonprofit agencies. So, please consider contributing to my fundraising efforts in support of BAY Positives, via my personal Fundraising Portal:

http://awsf2011.kintera.org/qherekidsf

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AIDS Walk San Francisco is organized by and benefits the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, as well as HIV/AIDS Prevention & Care Services throughout the Bay Area.

San Francisco AIDS Foundation works to end the HIV epidemic in the city where it began, and eventually everywhere. Established in 1982, our mission is the radical reduction of new infections in San Francisco because we refuse to accept HIV as inevitable. Through education, advocacy and direct services for prevention and care, we are confronting HIV in communities most vulnerable to the disease.

San Francisco AIDS Foundation is guided by a strategic plan with three ambitious goals aimed at radically reducing new infections in San Francisco by 2015.

GOAL 1: Reduce new HIV infections in San Francisco by 50%
Leveraging scientific research and community knowledge we will devise new approaches and ensure that federal, state and local legislation supports a climate hospitable to effective HIV prevention.

GOAL 2: Ensure all San Franciscans know their current HIV status
We are expanding advocacy and public education about the benefits of testing, determining the feasibility of citywide HIV screening, and optimizing our own and others’ capacity to provide HIV testing.

GOAL 3: Ensure access to proper care for all HIV-positive San Franciscans
As the epidemic evolves, we are evolving our targeted programs to improve the health of people with HIV and AIDS, from housing and medical referrals to group support and services that address mental health and substance use among populations most vulnerable to HIV.

© 2011 San Francisco AIDS Foundation | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
1035 Market Street, Ste 400 | San Francisco, CA 94103
www.sfaf.org | +1.415.487.3000 (main) | feedback@sfaf.org

FOR MORE INFORMATION:
Matthew D. Blanchard
Member, Board of Directors
Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.
http://www.baypositives.org
matthew@baypositives.org
+1.415.487.1616 (main)
+1.415.487.1617 (fax)

http://eepurl.com/eJmaI

COPYRIGHT © 2011 Bay Area Young Positives, Inc. | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

baypositives.org | 701 Oak Street, San Francisco, CA 94117 | info@baypositives.org

Respectfully submitted,
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew D. Blanchard
matthew@qherekidsf.com
San Francisco, CA USA
[20110713T061237PST]

WHY I WALK? (Part One) : @AIDSWalkSF

Help Support My Week-Long Fundraising Pledge!

http://eepurl.com/eGH7I – Matthew Blanchard (a.k.a. QHereKidSF) has pledged to raise $500 in one week to support Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.

AIDS Walk San Francisco 2011

WHY I WALK? (Part One)

Over the course of the last four years, as many of my most intimately supportive friends, family members, professional care providers and colleagues well know, the critical prognoses of my HIV/AIDS-disabled health had left me teetering to and fro, back and forth between the perniciously presumptive promises of death and the disastrous delirium of drug dependency, depression and disfigurement.

More recently, however, the courage of my convictions has kept me devoutly dedicated to a steadfast and surefooted pursuit of positive change, growth and progress in my sero-positive wellness.

Thus, reconstruction, recovery, and rehabilitation have proven to be, for me, the rightfully redemptive remedies I have needed in life, in order to resolve and ultimately reverse the very real-world rotting corrosion of both my smile, my spirit, and my surety and sanctity of self. This is why I walk!

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In grateful honor of those innumerable heroes who have helped me redeem my right to live, to survive, to strive, and to thrive in hope and in faith of self, while faced with a disabling AIDS diagnosis, I have registered to participate in the 25TH Annual AIDS Walk San Francisco – July 17, 2011, organized by the San Francisco AIDS Foundation.

As a Member of the Board of Directors of Bay Area Young Positives, Inc., one of the San Francisco AIDS Foundation Community Partner Beneficiaries (Team #8088), I am committed to raising a minimum of $500 for my organization, during this week prior to the commemorative event.

All charitable funds raised by board members and staff of AIDS Walk Beneficiary Organizations will be allocated in full directly back to those participating nonprofit agencies. So, please consider contributing immediately to my fundraising efforts in support of BAY Positives, via my AIDS Walk San Francisco 2011 Fundraising Portal:

http://awsf2011.kintera.org/qherekidsf

With most humbled humanity of spirit and in hope of sustaining the impact of my own small, but significant, HIV/AIDS Youth Prevention & Care Advocacy Nonprofit: Bay Area Young Positives, Inc., I am proud to be able to entice the generosity of your giving spirit.

In recognition of your superiour contributions to my personal fundraising campaign for the 25TH Annual AIDS Walk San Francisco – July 17, 2011, I offer to reciprocate the unmatched generosity of my most valued donor(s) with various significant incentives.

$50.00 - $74.99 Donations – In recognition of all contributions of between $50.00 to $75.00 to my personal fundraising campaign in support of Bay Area Young Positives, Inc., donors will receive an example of my own personal exploration through visual art of the limitless bounds of my new-found beauty. DONATE NOW!

$75.00 - $99.99 Donations – My supporters who contribute donations between $75.00 and $100.00 will be invited to chose to receive as gifts either my literary work or my cinematic work of creative self expression, accompanied by an example of my creative expression of self through visual art. DONATE NOW!

$100.00 Donations & Above – Those of my supporters whose generosity compels them to contribute most substantially to my cause will be awarded in recognition of their charity with a combination of all three gifts depicted below. DONATE NOW!

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Creative Expression as Self-Portraiture

Since waking from death and after staring straight in the face of my ubiquitously brutish and unbecoming ugliness, I have endeavored to reclaim, through external manifestations of creative self-expression, the full-measured immensity of my own innately internal, yet outwardly actualized, "beauty beguiled, BEGODS!" Consequently, my recent corpus of creative works of self-expression, through self-portraiture on stage, on screen, and on paper, is meant to further foment our shared recognition and rejoicing in the serendipitous resplendence of my "beyond-all-odds" auspicious survival, as we struggle together to find solace in the peaceful reflections staring back at us from there, where the ferocious face of trepidation, self-loathing, and contempt very well once could have, should have been!

– Matthew D. Blanchard,
CONSTRUCT (narrator),
IT GETS BETTER? (author)

Creative Expression as Film Performance

STILL AROUND : A Short Film Compilation (2011, USA, 82 mins.)
distributed as an Outcast Films Release
prod. M. Smolowitz & J. Fockele | The HIV Story Project

funded in part by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation  

"STILL AROUND" is a compendium of 15 short films on the theme of HIV. Most of the protagonists are positive, but the ways in which they deal with their status – and associated issues, like coming out to family or getting politically involved – are wildly different. In some of these shorts we're treated to performance pieces – slam poetry and inventive filming that can tease us, as in Daniel Cardone's "CONSTRUCT," in which poetry about physical disfigurement is intensified by shots that hint at (or briefly show) a body ravaged by infection – and a spirit that has moved toward self-knowledge.

– Kilian Melloy, Edge | edgeboston.com


Creative Expression as Literary Narrative
WHY ARE FAGGOTS SO AFRAID OF FAGGOTS?
feat. "IT GETS BETTER?" : An Essay by Matthew D. Blanchard 

ed. Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore (AK Press, Feb 14 2012)

Mattilda has again provided us with a collection of urgent, intimate, powerful essays that upend the horrifying hyper-visible and invisibilizing bandwagon of today's pro-military, marriage-obsessed white gay politics. These essays excavate masculinity, unearthing the complex and pervasive structures that police and construct it and exposing the beautiful resilience of its self-avowed refusers and failures. These pieces ... [provide] complex and badly needed ways to imagine and reimagine faggotry.

– Dean Spade, Normal Life: Administrative Violence, Critical Trans Politics and the Limits of Law

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POSITIVE OUTLOOK : A COMING OF AGE!

Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.

Together for 20+ years, BAY Positives' Peer Education & Advocacy Team has served SF Bay Area youth infected and/or affected by HIV/AIDS. Today, we aspire to sustain & grow our vision through dynamic inter-agency collaborations, engaging & accessible prevention interventions, and strength-based youth empowerment & mentoring.

Over the past 20+ years, the invaluable, lifesaving work of Bay Area Young Positives, Inc. has been supported in great part by significant public & private sector grants, including awards direct from the Center for Disease Control (CDC), the San Francisco Department of Public Health (SFDPH), and numerous health-promoting business corporations, as well as by the indubitably reliable gift-giving and grant-making of countless SF Bay Area Charitable Fund-Raising Organizations.

The Board of Directors of BAY Positives is now (and always has been) indeed immensely grateful to our Benefactors, for their impenetrably selfless support of our organization's mission, of its meaningful work; and, of course, for our contributions to the long and lasting lives of all the beautiful youth survivors whom we proudly call "members."

FANATIC FOLLOWERS!
Social Media Sharing

    
http://eepurl.com/eGH7I

Bay Area Young Positives, Inc. gladly encourages social media interaction with (and amongst) our constituents. Our Board of Directors actively engages in Web2.0 Communications, in an effort to promote and disseminate positive HIV/AIDS Prevention & Care messages, particularly amongst youth.

FOR MORE INFORMATION:

Matthew D. Blanchard
Member, Board of Directors
Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.

matthew@baypositives.org
+1 (415) 487-1616 (main)
+1 (415) 487-1617 (fax)

COPYRIGHT © 2011 Bay Area Young Positives, Inc. | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
www.baypositives.org | 701 Oak Street, San Francisco, CA 94117 | info@baypositives.org

Respectfully submitted,
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew D. Blanchard
matthew@qherekidsf.com

San Francisco, CA USA
[20110712T193457PST]

World Humanitarian Day (Aug. 19, 2010)

http://ochaonline.un.org/whd
StumbleUpon® by QHereKidSF

This single well-conceived, well-structured, and well-designed Web-page introduces myriad discussions and debate around Humanitarianism world-wide, by articulating in simple, pointed headers and paragraph explanations the key "humanitarian principles which represent the foundation of humanitarian action," as defined by the United Nations:

1.) HUMANITY: Human suffering must be addressed wherever it is found. The purpose of humanitarian action is to protect life and health and ensure respect for human beings.

2.) NEUTRALITY: Humanitarian actors must not take sides in hostilities or engage in controversies of a political, racial, religious or ideological nature.

3.) IMPARTIALITY: Humanitarian action must be carried out on the basis of need alone, giving priority to the most urgent cases of distress and making no distinctions on the basis of nationality, race, gender, religious belief, class or political opinion.

4.) OPERATIONAL INDEPENDENCE: Humanitarian action must be autonomous from the political, economic, military or other objectives that any actor may hold with regard to areas where humanitarian action is being implemented.

This page is easy-to-navigate, and chock full of video links and "Supporting Documents," such as those entitled, "Security Trends," "Q&A," "Leaflet," and "Key Messages."

 

United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs
2010 World Humanitarian Day POSTER (August 19) - v.English
(cc) CreativeCommons Attribute 2010 | creators: UNOCHA, et al.
http://ochaonline.un.org/whd/posters.html

What's best about this entire social marketing campaign is, in my opinion, their poster and video campaigns. Their brand identity, imagery and messaging are all captured in a way that definitively illuminates that countless lives affected by and involved with humanitarian work across the globe.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU EXPLORE THIS PAGE, if in fact you have any interest or involvement in international development and humanitarian aid work!!

I know that, as a global HIV/AIDS advocate and activist based in and around San Francisco, CA and the District of Columbia, but doing working that is of integral importance to the Government and peoples of The Republic of Sierra Leone, I was immensely captivated and profoundly moved especially by the video PSAs & the full length feature film available for viewing on this page!!

All that I have seen here makes me exceedingly proud to be a HUMANITARIAN AID WORKER on WORLD HUMANITARIAN DAY : August 19, 2010!!




http://youtu.be/Yy7lnXG5U9Q, posted by ochafilms (August 11, 2010)

The 2010 World Humanitarian Day project is a collaborative film shot in over 40 countries in under 9 weeks, on a shoestring budget - with the goal of showing the enormous diversity of places, faces and endeavors of humanitarian aid workers in 2010. It was filmed by humanitarian staff and freelance filmmakers from around the globe (over 50 contributors in total) with all time donated. Please help us by linking, embedding, tweeting and sharing this message with your friends, colleagues and contacts. Our sincere thanks to all those who contributed to the film, and to it's dissemination.

Credits:
Music by Krister Linder kristerlinder.com
2D animation by Anu Nagaraj at massmarket.tv
Title design by David Rasura

Produced by David Ohana/AVMU at
UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs
worldhumanitarianday.info

This film is a subtly potent portrayal of countless individuals around the globe who dedicate their lives to the good, well-fare, well-being, safety, health, and humanity of all mankind. What poignantly gripping and emphatically simple cinematography and music!!

The worldly rhythm of the score syncopates in Diasporic beats the quintessential individuality of all Humanitarian Aid Workers, while capturing in a no less than captivating fashion, frame after frame, a unified front of humanitarians one in the same, albeit all of them of different colors, races, ethnicity, gender, locations, etc.

We are ALL HUMANITARIAN AID WORKERS!! No matter where we do our work nor how, as long as we are pursuing the greater cause of the key humanitarian principles: HUMANITY, NEUTRALITY, IMPARTIALITY & OPERATIONAL INDEPENDENCE.

I am a humanitarian HIV/AIDS advocate and activist working with and for the most beleaguered and needy populations of youth (primarily of color) infected and affected by HIV/AIDS in the San Francisco Bay Area. But, I also contribute substantially to a government affairs and international development nonprofit based out of the District of Columbia and serving the government and peoples of Sierra Leone.

Through Social Media platforms such as Facebook®, Twitter®, YouTube®, StumbleUpon®, Blogger®, Windows® Live™ Spaces™, etc., I also have the opportunity to contribute my voice to the global humanitarian movement that has taken root within the USA and which is spreading ironically as rampant as a pandemic of myriad infectious diseases across the globe.

That's well said: HUMANITARIANISM IS INFECTIOUS!! Or, so this 60 sec. World Humanitarian Day PSA demonstrates so well; the cause is CONTAGIOUS!! Hallelujah! Cheers! Ciao! Namaste...

Respectfully Submitted,
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew D. Blanchard

Fund-Raising Co-Chair
Board of Directors
Bay Area Young Positives, Inc.
baypositives.org [baypositives.org]
twitter.com/BAYPositives [twitter.com]
facebook.com/BAYPositives [facebook.com]

Board Associate of Communications | Webmaster
Int'l. Professional Partnerships for Sierra Leone, Inc.
communications@ippsl.org
ippsl.org [ippsl.org]

UBIQUITY OF MY UGLINESS...

Years before a corrosive, killer HIV/AIDS and Crystal Meth Combo cut a gaping hole in the middle of my face, stealing of me my beauty in one nightmarish turn of a page, a more curious and less caustic HIV/AIDS Crystal Meth Combo calamitously curtailed my intellectual and creative development.

The first chaotic combo interrupted and/or either suspended my bright young life for a good long while by stealing of me my sanity, my serenity and by forcing me into a manic messianic schizo-delusional psychosis.

Coincidentally, while my second doomsday downfall damn near destroyed all real remnants of my tangible, physical beauty, the AIDS & Crystal Meth Combo of my first foray with death through delusions brought be into a celestially sublime connection with the pure essence of beauty.

Back when the better bastion of boyhood me beamed smiling and sexy, you would have heard me brag in brash whispers of secrecy that my unmitigated drug dependency, coupled with my not-yet-medicated, unmonitored manic depression and HIV/AIDS disease likely stole a few good inches from my inseam and waist line. Drugs, depression and disease had turned me into the tweaked-out top-hungry twenty-something twink slut barebacking bottom boy I was better off born to me. By God!!

With legs freshly shaven, I used to like to try my way at prancing and dancing in heals. I had the posture of a princess back then, or better yet, of a QUEEN!! Taut, toned, tender and tanned, my thighs tightly tucked into tawdry, sultry, see-through silk-striped stockings, topped with frilly, flamboyant, fluorescent pink tutus & leotards, a black leather-laced bodice and breasts of bagged basmati. I dreamed of doing DRAG!!... And, my delusions brought me as close as I'd ever be to a diva's starlit status.

What are the odds that a poor, sorry, solitary, sad, sick, insane queer kid for sale on the streets of Skid Row, new to San Francisco, might remember in rich vivid clarity, in multi-dimensional Technicolor timbres and tonalities, his actual psychological demise from climax to cure, from onset to overture? Well, I do!!

I recall with great delight the drug-induced, yet truly transmundane delusions that seemed — For six months, let's say! That's a safe bet. — more reasonable and real, more true to me than ordinary and onerous everyday life, thanks to the immaculate bliss and beauty that back-lit every waking instant of my insanity.

Yet I couldn't, wouldn't waiver on the whims of consciousness long enough to remember much the long stretch of days three years ago that would prove to be so much more dramatically life-changing for me: twelve days of comatose confinement caged up in my stuffy, sterile studio, asleep, unconscious. My face pressed flat onto a putrid, pestilent pillow, under the heavy weight of my aching, dying brain. Saliva dripping down my cheek and chin to the sullied, soiled, sickening sheets only to invite infection in!!

Context may help! ... Here goes!! Far before October 2007, when I was found alone, half-dead in my apartment; on the brink of dehydration, starvation and brain damage; desperately in need of dialysis; having survived only by some heavenly happenstance the devastating detriment of PCP pneumonia and a necrotizing poly-microbial bacterial infection of the face... Far before a team of California's leading diagnosticians, doctors and surgeons attempted valiantly yet albeit failed so sorely to salvage my once so cute and charismatic, gorgeous gay boy grin...

Far before I woke from coma to gasp and gawk at my godforsaken, gruesomely grotesque, ghastly, ghoulish gaping hole of a grimace, I was so long ago quite blessed — Or cursed? However the story goes! — to have had a right entrancing, sexy smile.

Before my brutal, bestial, ferocious fall from grace and yet thanks still then too to drugs, depression and disease, I could boast the beauty of a primped, polished pansy boy physique made potent by the unrelenting rush of salacious, sex-crazed hedonism which happened to hammer out haphazardly into hormonal hot flashes and "meth'merized" highs.

Oh!! And shan't I forget the illicit, alluring beauty of my tight little tush and thighs that tempted and fed far too many a head-spun, tail-furious tweaker top tucked away either between the bathhouse backrooms of Berkeley or beneath the bent, broken branches and burning bush there best past bedtime in Buena Vista Park.

Now, today, post-op eleven-fold with twelve more surgical reconstructions on the books, I'm nothing but a torn, tattered tapestry of scars, skin grafts and flaps of flesh festooning my funny, freakish face.

My legs, once softened and smoothed by the razor's edge, are now covered in patches of naked, hairless, flimsy flesh only a few layers fine. Coincidence now predominates, for the large surgical scar that defiles to devastating depths my sorry specimen of a lower left leg seems to be far smoother and softer, far more delicate and lady-like that it e'er had been before, despite the patterned ripples of a serrated texture that rises and rolls along the "miscontours" of my crippled calf.

I should be thankful then that hair still groups from the pair of embossed rectangular skin graft scars that are slowly fading from the front of my lower left thigh. But, I'm not grateful to have my torso tarnished by the twisted pucker of a scar in the middle of my gut where a G.I. tube once hung for fourteen months, two weeks and five days past the point it first proved futile at feeding me.

I call it my "Octo-Orifice!!;" although, it's shut tight & leaks no more. I call it also my "Second Bellybutton," because in all actuality, that's exactly what it is. Yet, instead of being nourished by placenta pumped to my stomach through an umbilical cord, I was this second time around, at the moment of my rebirth, fed synthetic, high-protein, carb-loaded "blender'ized" slop seeped into me through a twelve foot long number three plastic tube that hung between my belly and an upside down bottle of so-called sustenance like a drip-line. In all actuality, that's exactly what it was...

Moving onward and upward, we arrive at the loosely bandaged, still wide open hole in my neck, where my tracheotomy tube once hung. Honestly, I don't know whether or not I am more grateful to be rid of the tube that took so much time and attention to tend to, or if I am madly resentful of my own eight layers of healthy, still living skin and of the thick musculature of my tender trachea for taking so long a time to heal up and seal up.

So, still I wait... Committed to a daily ritual of stripping Xeroform® and four-by-four gauze sponges from the sweaty, scratchy hole in my neck, still I wait... I wait only still to be enslaved to a stolid, chin-strapped schedule for showering, in which I must each morn tightly velcro a water-hazard choke-guard security-sheath above my shoulders and below my chin, before stepping in to let my cleansing begin.

No wonder that I avoid the shower spigot like SARS or Swine Flu: the plagues which passersby suppose sicken me. ME! The sorry, sad face behind the surgical mask who meanders mindlessly, miserably amid mankind's miscreant misjudgments of much of my own mad, mad melancholic misfortune.

And, By God!! I sure as hell am not one infinitesimally small grain of grit grateful for this muddled mutant monstrosity of a quasimodo mouth I've been melded into for the moment. I don't have enough fingers or toes or hairs growing from my forehead flap of a nose... There are a lot of them; mind you! Bet your life on it! Hairs grow hoggishly long and hamstrung from the impenetrable depths of my makeshift nostril, nose and septum to curl down the coarse discolored curvature of my leg flap look-alike lip. And, Hell Man!! Fuck!! Do they itch or what??

Truth be told; I don't even have enough holes, appendages, protrusions, flaps of flesh, scars or skin grafts on my body to be able to begin to count the magnanimous mind's eye momentum of hatred and disgust that I have for this gruesome, ghoulish, ghastly grin of mine!

And, Yet Alas!! I've stayed safe, sane and sober over one full year, and for what reason? Because despite the ubiquity of my bitterly unbecoming and brutish ugliness, I've somehow retained remnants and remembrances enough of a time in my life when in my bitterly unbecoming and brutish insanity, I discovered the true meaning of beauty.

Beyond the awkward, obtuse, abstract, anthropomorphic aesthetic of the Tina-torn, AIDS-quilted, quizzical contours of my monstrosity of a mouth, I seen endless opportunity for elaborate beautification and solemn self-betterment. Buried not too deeply behind the dug-out disfigurements of my blasphemed, begotten, brutalized body and face — For sure! I'm certain. — there lies alive immaculately innocent, blessedly beautiful baby blue boy eyes...

Respectfully Submitted,
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew D. Blanchard
San Francisco, CA USA
[2010.07.14@20:29PST]

AIDS IS A PERVASIVE PANDEMIC THAT BLEEDS THROUGH
THE LINES OF COLOR, CREED & CAPITULATES TO NO ONE BUT
THE POSITIVELY AWARE & PREVENTION-MINDED SURVIVORS.
— Matthew D. Blanchard

THE SUBJECT NO LONGER HAS TO BE MENTIONED BY NAME.
SOMEONE IS SICK. SOMEONE ELSE IS FEELING BETTER NOW.
A FRIEND HAS JUST GONE BACK INTO THE HOSPITAL.
ANOTHER HAS DIED. THE UNSPOKEN NAME, OF COURSE, IS AIDS.
— David W. Dunlap

OVER & OVER, THESE MEN CRY OUT AGAINST THE WEIGHT OF
SO MANY LOSSES — NOT JUST A LOVER DEAD, BUT FRIENDS,
AND FRIENDS OF FRIENDS, DOZENS OF THEM, UNTIL IT SEEMS
THAT AIDS IS ALL THERE IS AND ALL THERE EVER WILL BE.
— Jane Gross

ISRAEL&I : Preserving Progress

Evidence of an enduring friendship. Remarks made to console and cajole into contemplation the otherwise tamed vacancies of intellect that bridal us with ignorance and loathing prejudices. This essay is not meant to proselytize about the potency of or the pandemonium in the Israeli State, but rather, this blog entry is meant to demonstrate the intense intimacy of my relationship with my next door neighbor and In-Home Supportive Services provider: my friend, Israel R. Toro.

The following is text of a letter I recently wrote to Israel, which he will not have yet read by the time this post is published. Maybe he'll get a hint that a letter's waiting for him, when he sees a notification of this blog entry post on my Facebook Profile. This would mean that he has access to the text of the letter without having the illustrated pages in his hands first, but that's okay.  It'll still be something special for him to receive the hand-written four page letter in person when he returns from vacation in about a week.  At least, that's my hope!

Dear Israel,
Today, you left on a camping trip with your boyfriend to Washington State, where there's quick sand and where you're going to be soaked with rain. I'm home alone, listening to the silence through my walls, re-reading the hand-written note you posted to my oven fan and the text messages you sent me earlier in the day. I can't help but play back the conversation we had sitting at my kitchen table, recalling your anxiety at the thought that I possibly will no longer be your neighbor.

Frankly, I regret having been so caught up in my own excitement at the prospect of transitioning finally into independence and (hopefully!) better circumstances, that I didn't have forethought enough to anticipate your reaction or to consider your feelings. And, for that I am deeply sorry. On the other hand, I feel blessed by your reaction. Why? How? You might ask... It may seem insensitive of me to find satisfaction in your frustration and worry, but let me explain...

Through the harrowing happenstance of disease, depression disfigurement, delusions, devastation, death -- but, then through survival, salvation, sanity, sobriety, sympathy, serendipity, solace, surety, safety, serenity and yes, even through some selfish satisfaction for it all! -- I have come to believe that only one thing can sustain me in life, onward from my fight with death, and that is... FRIENDSHIP!!


Friendship is essential to my life, and since I call you proudly and gratefully a friend -- you are absolutely essential to my life. Your unexpected reaction -- unexpected to me, at least -- to some unexpected news essentially demonstrated the deep, genuine sincerity of our relationship, making real and tangible to me the enormous significance and value you bring to my life.


Essentially, by reacting with such shock, fear, anxiety and very real sadness at the prospect of losing your proximity to me, you proved to me how essential -- how necessary -- you are to my life, to my survival, and to my happiness. Don't you see now why and how I could/did find some satisfaction in your suffering?


Your pain made me happy for a brief moment, but as soon as I realized that what I was feeling could very well be wrong (or at least totally inappropriate and shameful), I shifted my perspective and my focus onto you. My focus right now is not on this satisfaction of mine that I've defined here, but it's on abetting your worry, healing your anxiety and pain by reassuring yu that I will do whatever I can that is humanly possible to preserve the status, shape, sincerity, intimacy, growth and progress of our friendship, if I am no longer to be your neighbor.

You make me happy, Israel!! You make me laugh. You make me worry. You make me proud. You make me feel lucky, special, unique, grateful...as friends should do!! I guess really that's exactly just what I want to say, and I want to thank you for saying yes, when I asked you to be my IHSS worker.  Thank you for hanging out with me when times were low. Thanks for supporting my sobriety, my health, my sanity.  Thank you for taking suck great care of me and Tanner!! 

You deserve so much gratitude in return for all the generous gifts, sympathy and friendship that you have bestowed upon me in the past seven years as my neighbor, and especially for the sacrifices that you have recently made (and that I hope you will continue to make) as my in-home care provider. 


The mutual reciprocity of our relationship (personal/professional, or otherwise!) is what gives us such trust, intimacy, potency, pride and strength when we're together; and for that, I hope never to lose you -- or our friendship. I WILL FIGHT TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH FOR YOU!! Because, in fighting to preserve our relationship, I fight also to keep my life on track, heading in the "right" direction.


NO! I don't mean to insinuate that I'm going to turn Republican on you , but I do in a way mean to say "CONSERVATIVE" -- in such a way that I'd like to conserve/preserve all the greatness, the grandeur, the bliss that has found its way into my life recently; thanks to you. BUT, I'M A TRUE PROGRESSIVE! I believe in PROGRESS. 


As my priest would say: "We are all imperfect people reaching, aiming for perfection." I personally do not know if I will ever reach perfection before I die, or if it will instead come posthumously once I enter into the gardens of ELYSIUM, but I know that in the meantime, I will only act in God's graces, and I will only surround myself with people like you. People who are not "perfect" -- per se, but whose indomitable strength of spirit only supports, encourages, buttresses (and does not contend with contemptuously) my journey toward perfection. Those who join the journey with me, only to follow their own path in the same general direction. 


That is why you are in my life. Because, in your support and through our friendship, we both come all that much clsoer to enlightenment, salvation, redemption and perfection. You sustain and nurture, cultivate and catalyze my shaping of self. And I can only dream of doing the same for you. In brotherhood, Israel, our love for one another endures... Know that I cherish you, and that there will always be a place for you in my life. Forever. THANKS!!


With Love,
Matthew

I wanted to post this text prior to delivering the letter to Israel himself, because the simple act of writing these words has inspired in me a sense of urgency in recognizing and recording the significance of this very important relationship in my life. 

What's true is that I enjoy writing (and illustrating) letters by hand to the people most important in my life; in small part, because I figure that if one day I reach infamy or celebrity or renown, then such hand-written souvenirs could be cherished as truly valuable objects. But, my immediate aim in not to reach renown. I'm not presumptuous, or even pompous enough to think that celebrity is a possibility for me in any way, so I'll settle for touching the hearts of those few and far between important people in my life who merit such gifts of graphic gab scribbled onto loose leaf paper. That's what I hope to do with this letter: touch Israel's heart! 

Maybe he'll read my blog post via Facebook, and either comment there or access my blog's true URL: http://qherekidsf.blogspot.com, to leave a comment there. We'll see!  Maybe, he'll just read the letter on loose leaf and give me one ginormous grateful, gentlemanly bear hug!! GRRRRRR. CHUB!! :) Peace Out, All! And Peace, especially to Israel! May he have a safe voyage home, and may our friendship survive the tempests and turmoil of time!!  Truth be told, he's tamed me. My gratitude is immeasurable. THANKS, IZ!!

Respectfully Submitted,
Matthew D. Blanchard
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
San Francisco, CA USA
[2010.05.29@18:40PST]

"Starscapes & Typography" [no.# 5-6]

Keeping with my practice of regularly posting my original nameplate illustrations, once they are complete & scanned into my computer, I'd like to present two new additions to my "STARSCAPES & TYPOGRAPHY" series. In presenting these design illustrations, I'd like also to speak briefly of the persons for which my art was designed, because it is often these recipients who have had and continue to have a profound impact on my life today. They deserve the gift of art, and I hope that they will cherish these works & display them with pride to their friends and family.

First, I feel rather obliged to speak my sobering thoughts of underlying shame and regret that presently inhibit my relationship with the recipient of this first name plate (of whom my readers have already heard plenty of thoughts & impressions from me in past posts to my blog): WALLACE (WES) SMITH.

"STARSCAPES & TYPOGRAPHY [no.#5] : WALLACE (WES) SMITH"
©2009 QHereKidSF | Matthew Blanchard | San Francisco, CA USA

You see, as I am presently residing in a substance abuse recovery facility and am overwhelmed by a very full schedule of day treatment and evening meeting, as well as by the additional work I do as a volunteer for the new international development nonprofit of which my best friend, Peter Maybarduk, is Acting Director & Vice-President of the Board: IPPSL | International Professional Partnerships for Sierra Leone, Inc. (http://www.ippsl.org/ - Site Under Construction!).

The last few (or maybe even many) times I've written hangout time with WES into my schedule, I have often invited him back to my apartment to meet me there for fun and entertainment: a good time. But, shame on me! I have more often than not in the last few weeks failed to pay WES any attention, as I've been consumed with work on the computer & internet (specifically, for my nonprofit).

I have apologized repeatedly to WES for my inexcusable refusal to pay him any attention or to enjoy his company when he is here to support me in my time of transition and need, but apologies only go so far, before someone gets fed up with waiting for things to change and to receive what's due to them: respect! So, here I am telling on myself...disclosing my terrible behavior and promising to make a change and to make amends!!

I have every intention of dropping all other commitments, be they treatment or nonprofit work related, this coming Thursday, in order to give WES my full attention, so that we are able to enjoy our time together. And so that, he does not feel that I am taking him for granted. I cherish our friendship and all that he has sacrificed to send so much compassion, understanding and patience my way. I don't want to lose his support; that's for sure! So, things will change! Thursday, we'll do something special to entertain ourselves; I promise that as I state it here for the record. And rest assured! I will be sharing this blog post with WES, as soon as it has been published.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

The recipient of my sixth STARSCAPES & TYPOGRAPHY nameplate illustration is a particularly robust and respectful man of faith who splits his professional time between Substance Abuse Treatment Counseling at Ferguson Place of Baker Places, Inc. and his service as a preacher for a small, liberal, progressive, culturally diverse Baptist Church not to far away from our facility on Divisadero Street. I'm sorry, at this time, I do not recall the name of his church, but will come back to this post and add it to the text here once I find out this information from one Rev. KEENAN R. BRANNER.

"REVERENCE & STARSCAPES [no.#1] : KEENAN R. BRANNER (Rev.)"
©2009 QHereKidSF | Matthew Blanchard | San Francisco, CA USA

I designed KEENAN's nameplate on paper with different proportions & measurements than my previous designs, so in order to distinguish this my most recent illustration, I've given it a unique title: "REVERENCE & STARSCAPES: Keenan R. Branner (Rev.)," completed only this morning after almost two months of slow but not at all tedious work. I hope he (as well as all of my followers) enjoys this design. I'm quite proud of it. He asked for a crucifix, and that is what I gave him!! What do you all think of this pencil drawing? Any ideas for the next nameplates I create?? I'd like to try something new with each additional illustration I do, so suggestions for innovation and change would be greatly appreciated. Thanks & Enjoy!!

Respectfully submitted,
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew D. Blanchard
San Francisco, CA 94109
[MDB2009.09.14@09:45PST]

"Starscapes & Typography" [no.# 4]

Adding to my recently posted collection of name designs & doodles in pencil, I've included (below) my newest design of "STARSCAPES & TYPOGRAPHY" [no.#4]: WALLACE (WES) SMITH—a redesign of my SHANTI volunteer's full name.

I was a bit disappointed with my first design for Wes (see previous post), because of the rather disjointed, unharmonious shape of his formal first name (WALLACE). I saw the design as too distracting, confusing and in a way, down right ugly, but I liked the starscape and arrows of that design.

So, I set out to re-conceptualize the design of Wes's first name, so that it would be more appealing to the eye; whil, as best I could, duplicating the overall aesthetic of the starscape & arrows. Here's the sketch, below!!:

I believe that I succeeded with this second design at creating a more powerful, compelling composition; even though, it's not perfectly centered or straight on the paper. What do you think? Any thoughts on how the design could be improved?

Wes, himself, seems to really enjoy the second design and appreciates the fact that I went through the trouble of revising the design for him in the first place. He says that he is going to post it on his work office bulletin board for all his colleagues to admire and to be reminded of me every time he looks at it, just in passing by. Aww! How sweet & sentimental!! I'm touched.

I'm proud of my work and am glad that Wes can share in that pride so enthusiastically. He's such a great guy! Now, I just need to decide whose name I will design next; I'll probably design my best friend's name: PETER MAYBARDUK. Because he totally deserves a gift for being such an amazing friend to me for almost 12 years. He's another amazing person!

I won't beg for feedback on this blog entry, like I always do, because I feel pretty confident about the design and don't necessarily need its success to be reinforced to me by random strangers. I happy with Wes's reaction; that's all that I need to be satisfied with my art work. But, if you want to offer some feedback as I have mentionned, please do so! I always am working to improve my doodles and to eventually one day begin to create real art! Thank you for even gazing upon this sketch of mine for Wes Smith, my SHANTI Volunteer. I appreciate having a space where I can exhibit my work, and will continue to do so in the future. Thanks! Cheers! Ciao! Peace Out! Namaste...

Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew D. Blanchard
San Francisco, CA 94109-7821
[MDB2009.06.18@08:28PMPST]

STUDY TRACK: Trans-Queer Art of Drag!!

The following is text of a journal entry I recently uploaded to my Last.fm profile, in response to revelations I had had upon listening to CHICK POP!! (Kelly Clarkson Radio) for the first time on this internet radio service. The POP DIVA music that was played to me when I entered "Kelly Clarkson" (and eventually "Madonna") as play topics in the radio station configuration widget ignited in me a deep, spontaneous desire to expound upon my penchant and proclivity for all things DRAG!! Please read this journal entry, and offer some feedback!!

Let me know what you think about my idea to study DRAG PERFORMANCE at the graduate level, and to begin my studies before applying to graduate school with extensive field research in San Francisco and in other locales where there might be a thriving experimental queer performance circuit. I imagine a career teaching & directing young, budding drag princes & princesses, and progressively developing a solid, critical theory & history & aesthic of the art of DRAG PERFORMANCE. It sounds like a righteous, awesome plan to me!! But, the question is...can I turn it into a graduate or post-graduation educational track and an eventual profession? And can I get funding to study such an avant-garde, alternative, peripheral form of art?

PLAYLISTS: ponderances of prettily
pontificated pleasure listening...
[ Last.fm JOURNAL Entry : 06.16.09 ]

Early this morning (or was it late last night? — I DON'T CARE!! I don't know!!), I randomly found myself linked to Last.fm on my computer, just listening for pleasure and to be introduced to new musical artists, as I sketched away in my drawing book and diary. I had nothing to do after reaching a moment of pause in my doodling, so I sat down to record tags and playlist (v.) certain songs that I had been listening to on the random, fagottry "flame-boi-ant-lee" FIERCE station "Artist - Kelly Clarkson Radio."

See, I enjoy Kelly Clarkson. At least, I am fond of her debut album, which I had previously purchased from the iTunes Store for my music library and to which I have listened avidly and with pleasure recently. So, I thought that I would enjoy songs by various artists similar to Kelly Clarkson, and essentially (vaguely?), I did.

What's so poignantly perturbing about this inclination of mine to listen to CHICK POP!! (or what I have called "LA LA Lady" POP!!), is that these songs awaken in me my deep-seeded interest in and penchant for the trans-queer experimental performance art of DRAG!! All the songs that I listened to tonight, and especially the ones that I added to my new playlist, are perfect for a budding drag princess musical performance repertoire.

As I am no longer beautiful enough a boy to "trans-form" my fabulosity into a FIERCE "Fagged-Out Funambulist Freak Show" drag diva dreaming, because I have lost my face after a terribly traumatic illness and injury to the face: a necrotizing bacterial infection (i.e., Gangrene!!) that led subsequently to the amputation and ongoing craniofacial reconstructions of my mouth, nose and upper jaw, I can no longer dream of becoming a drag diva one day.

But I can and do dream of becoming what I like to think would be an objective, outside expert on the study of EXPERIMENTAL QUEER PERFORMANCE (i.e., drag!!), it's AESTHETICS and its HISTORY; its COMMON PRACTICES & CANONICAL DEFINING ELEMENTS; and eventually discovering/creating a theory behind it all!!

This is a dream that I can still pursue, even to a graduate/post-graduate level of study, to receive a PhD in Performance Studies and to teach DRAG at the M.F.A. Level. A significant component of my dream accomplished would be to open a B.F.A./M.F.A. Drag Performance Conservatory where accomplished older drag queens who have succeeded in stretching the boundaries of their art and in creating a variety of memorable personae act as master teachers, training young gay (or straight!! yes, of course, straight!!) men in the practice of the art of drag performance: vocal technique, lipsyncing, dance, costuming, wig design/maintenance, makeup design, character development, history, aesthetics, experimentation, defining your own art, etc... The school could also be geared toward lesbian or straight women interested in pursuing the art of the Drag King!!


Here's an example of premier Experimental Queer Performance (DRAG!!) from the San Francisco Bay Area's ultimate drag performance phenomenon: Trannyshack!! HEKLINA is a mega-star in San Francisco!! Wow! It'd be a dream to study with her for a couple of months, and to really get acquainted with her performance style and technique, maybe even eventually helping her rediscover and redefine some of her aesthetic, to make it all more theatrical, professional, performative (instead of just kitsch, like you see here in this video!) But, "kitsch" is popular!! It's what works! I wouldn't want to change anything that works well, maybe just enhance it or at least study it in depth. The theories & practices that I will develop in this course of study will ultimately transcend the kitsch & camp, and will be true, genius art. That's my dream! And Heklina would be a great partner in crime for this adventure: a dream diva to work with!!

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
These songs that I have listened to: CHICK POP!! are perfect songs for the contemporary drag repertoire. For now, before ever thinking of going back to school to study DRAG, I should start by conducting independent field work on my own, interviewing drag queens in the San Francisco Bay Area and afar, learning their techniques for developing character, examining their personal endeavors at training themselves, because no school really exists yet, and learning about the dynamic of the drag diva/princess mentoring relationship.

I could feasibly write some articles for scholarly journals about the art of drag and about my observations based on extensive independent field study and get published before applying to grad school. This would only help the acceptance process and prime me for admittance to only the best, topnotch Performance Study PhD programs in the country (particularly, the local UCBerkeley program, or the NYU Tisch School Program, or the Northwestern Program, or a program at UCLA—but I think Berkeley would be most accepting toward this route of study!!).

I definitely can get access to a number of San Francisco Bay Area drag queens (the most reputed, widely acclaimed and celebrated, and the most successful) for interviews and such, via Facebook and connections I have to the Imperial Court of San Francisco and to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, Inc. This would not be difficult; it would only take initiative and courage on my part to face my fears of interacting with new people despite my disfigurement and despite the fact that I wear a mask. But, for sure! This would give me something constructive to do during the in between time before and after my subsequent reconstruction surgeries.

All this thought about my desires to study DRAG PERFORMANCE stems directly from this "Artist - Kelly Clarkson Radio" that I was listening to on Last.fm. All of these wonderful female pop sensations that I discovered just listening to this brand of music has opened my mind to so many possibilities.

I could even think about dabbling in direction of drag personae, working with budding or seasoned drag queens to refine and redefine their personae and the style of their performance, for the sake of aesthetic enhancement of their performances. And I could feasibly organize a evening of drag performances directed and choreographed by myself and other talented drag queens or professionals and debut it at the supperclub san francisco [ S© ], a contemporary, chic dining and performance space in the South of Market District of Downtown San Francisco, reputed for hosting the Beneficiary Awards Reception of FOLSOM STREET EVENTS® each year, for the past three years. It'd be a perfect space for something like that! What a great idea! It would just take a lot of work, and a large following of committed drag queens!! You think I could do it? I wonder...

Tonight, I also completed my POP ALTERNATIVE MALE VOCALISTS playlist, so that it includes just enough playable tracks and individual artist to be playable itself on Last.fm. Now, I should be able to call this playlist up to be played on my Blogger® Page: http://qherekidsf.blogspot.com/, where I have a Last.fm widget in my right-hand sidebar. In fact, that is how I discovered Last.fm...through Blogger® gadgets.

And finally, I also edited the Last.fm P!nk biography to include playable tracks, links to artists' pages and an END NOTE on the super queer-fabulous friendship between P!nk and Ellen Degeneres. I wrote of how P!nk's appearances on the ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW have only served to promote (if not cement?) P!nk's stardom and pop celebrity. I cited the fact that P!nk was one of the only musical artist to be selected to perform at Ellen's 50th birthday party. And how P!nk debuted ELLEN's "Bathroom Concert Series" with a duet rendition of "So What." Here's a YouTube video of that performance:


Wasn't that just great to watch!! Their friendship is such a reward and a remark on the power and pomposity of the queer community!! They are both such stalwart advocates of equality for all!! And their friendship is magical, helping to define both of their celebrities. That was my final bit of contribution to Last.fm this morning, and that is where I will end this journal entry.

Please respond with comments, feedback and shoutbacks!! I'm always interested in hearing from followers of my blog and journals to see if there's any apparent way that my perspective on things might change because of what I learn from others. That's how it works for me! It's about give and take... So please give a little bit of comment on what I've discussed here as my drag diva deuteronomous dreamings!! Thanks!! And I look forward to next time... Cheers! Ciao! Namaste!

Respectfully submitted,
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew D. Blanchard
San Francisco, CA 94109-7821
[MDB2009.06.16@06:43PST]

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IF ONE ADVANCES CONFIDENTLY IN THE DIRECTION
OF HIS DREAMS, AND ENDEAVORS TO LIVE THE LIFE
HE HAS IMAGINED, HE WILL MEET WITH A SUCCESS
UNEXPECTED IN COMMON HOURS.
— Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

So what do you think of all of this? It's a far off thought that I pontificated on in journal form for my Last.fm audience, so that I could share it with all of my blog followers now. It's a unique thought, this idea of mine! What I didn't leave mention for in the journal entry was the pinultimate crux of the idea I actually have to broaden my study of the trans-queer art of drag. I shouldn't share the idea now, for fear that someone might steal it, but I highly doubt that my readership is of such high numbers that I could risk losing out on the originality of an idea to intellectual property theft or mishandlings.

So, I'll venture forth with the crux of the idea here in the closing of this blog entry. What I envision as a graduate or post-graduate work of study and scholarly writing is the publication of a combo piece of academic and how-to literature. I envision publishing an outrageous, cartoon-illustrated how-to book with in depth instructions on the study of DRAG PERFORMANCE that incorporates academic writing in a covert, obtuse but very accessible way about the History & Aesthetic Developments of Contemporary Drag and Drag Performance throughout the ages.

There would be discussions on Greek Comedy (like Lysistrata), DRAG in Gothic Passion Plays, Elizabethan Drag Performance, performance of the costumed lovers' tryst in 17th & 18th century French Comedy of Manners & Comédie Bourgeoise, to discussion on the pre-war art of female impersonation and the carnival-esque in Britain, France & Germany.

There will also be discussions on post-war French surrealist & dada theatre (such as Apollinaire's Les Mamelles de Tirésias), to writing on pre- & post-Stonewall modern drag performance and eventually on contemporary experimental avant-garde drag performance in film and theatre (such as Priscilla, Queen of the Desert; To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar; Hedwig & the Angry Inch; La Mala Educazione, as well as other lesser known cult film classics), and discussion on contemporary regional drag traditions across the country and across the globe (such as San Francisco's very own local cult phenomenon: Trannyshack!! hosted by the infamous and celebrated icon, HEKLINA—as seen in the first video embedded into my journal entry).

The book would be accessible to all queer and queer-friendly audiences and would particularly be used as the major academic learning text for the Conservatory of Drag Performance that I have envisionned opening in San Francisco or Los Angeles or in New York City. The book could have accompanying texts, such as exercise books for character studies, and could include a CD or DVD compilation of recorded audio or video drag performances and DIVA pop!! for the musical drag repertoire: a comparative musicological study on the various genres particularly fitting for various traditions of drag performance around the globe, and throughout history.

See, I have high hopes, and I am here, right now, laying claim to this very unique idea!! I haven't heard anyone ever discuss such an idea as plausible and feasible, but I believe that it especially is so. It's something that could really spark a burning ember of passion amongst the queer and queer-friendly communities for the art of drag, in essence, refining the public's tastes on the art of drag performance and improving the art itself, at the same time. This is what I envision!!

What do you think of the idea? Don't steal it from me! This idea has given me something to live for beyond my disfigurement!! I want so badly to make it happen, to realize this dream of mine, and ... IT IS POSSIBLE!! I just have to hope and pray that some seasonned, professional DRAG QUEEN doesn't come along and accomplish all that I have described before I get a chance to get around to start pursuing it as a plausible, real idea myself. That's my matter of worry! That's the only obstacle standing in my way!!

I should copyright this!! In fact, from here on out...ALL OF MY BLOGS ARE COPYRIGHTED BY QHEREKIDSF | MATTHEW BLANCHARD, ©2008-2009!! I hereby lay claim to my own ideas!! Let this be record of one of my particularly major, significant proprietary ideas: intellectual property!! What do you think? Are you gonna plan on stealing the idea from me?? Gosh, I hope not! What else would I have to live for?? That's all for now! Peace Out! Cheers! Ciao! And Namaste...

Copyright ©2009
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew Blanchard
San Francisco, CA 94109-7821
[MDB2009.06.16@12:31PST]