PHOENIX a'FIRE: In Rehearsal

When my application was accepted by SINS INVALID A.I.R. Program Director, Nomy Lamm, thus clearing way and confirming my participation in the inaugural 2010 SINS INVALID Artists In Residence (A.I.R.) Program, I found myself immediately embarking upon a long and exceedingly adventurous journey in discovery of perfection in performance-based self-portraiture through storytelling and song.

Little did I know then where it would lead me; however, I must say that truly I enjoyed every subtle step and bounding leap forward down that path I took from mere obscurity toward meager-to-maniacal celebrity, even if only within a very small, intimate community of disability activists and performance artists/aficionados, here in the Bay Area, alone.

The exact date that I happened to happen happily upon the NIEHS Sing Along Songs Children's Website and discovered their substantial collection of musical "midis" (i.e., simple, electronic instrumental versions of the vocal melody of a song recorded without audible lyrics, but rather with accompanying lyrics attached as text), I do not specifically recall.

Yet, I will not forget the tremendously joyous, spontaneous impulse of creative genius and pleasure that came to me when I fell serendipitously upon the musical midi of Alan Menken's "Part of That World," from the Disney masterpiece, LITTLE MERMAID.

Straightway, I knew just want I desired to do with this song. Thus, from that point just about a year ago today, when I did "stumbleupon" this particular melody and its lyrics, I endeavored to do meaningful justice not only to the song and songwriter himself, but also to my own audaciously bodacious and bawdy, unkempt, uncontrolled and unadulterated, quasimodo, quasi-grotesque, imperfect and ugly story of the destructive force of careless sexual device and drug abuse and my almost mythic – certainly, quite blessèd!! – rebirth as a "not hot, not well-endowed," but still quite sexual creature, deservedly so!!

With a spit-bit of pride, pomposity and yes, even perversion, I have the unique honor and privilege to premier a video recording of PHOENIX a'FIRE, a workshop rehearsal version of the song I performed as a live drag-burlesque musical number for the SINS INVALID A.I.R. Show: RESIDENT ALIEN.

Please be advised, as the title credits indicate, this video-recorded song is not intended for all audiences; the recommended minimum viewing age is 17 years. With PARENTAL ADVISORY, the video is given a Content Rating of NC-17, and all youth below that age are urged to seek parental permission before viewing this short webcam recorded musical video.

For those of my fans/followers who are of adequate age to view the film directly, I invite you now to enjoy a curiously compelling retrospective look back at my own creative process at work. And, I also encourage you, please, to share your thoughts on my original lyrics, as well as on the philosophy behind this "Musical Reconstruction," either by emailing me directly at matthew@qherekidsf.com, or simply by commenting directly on this blog post.

Otherwise, you also have the option of visiting my YouTube® Channel, where the video has also been posted for mass audiences and the world public at-large: http://youtube.com/qherekidsf. Please ENJOY!! Comments and feedback are duly encouraged! Thanks...

PHOENIX a'FIRE: In Rehearsal

COPYRIGHT © 2011 QHereKidSF | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

(recorded: San Francisco, CA USA; September 19, 2010)

http://www.youtube.com/qherekidsf

PHOENIX a'FIRE

Lyrics: Matthew Blanchard

Score: Colleen Nagle

Presented by SINS INVALID

2010 A.I.R. Performance:

RESIDENT ALIEN

Look at my face! Isn’t it gross?
Wouldn’t you think 

I’m much worse off than most?
What do you think of my grin, 

so grotesque & frightening?
This is my story; secrets revealed…
If I had lips they’d be loose and unsealed.
Looking at me you must think, 

“Shit! He’s lost everything!”
True - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

I once had good looks & was handsome.
But, - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

I was a barebackin’ tweaker whore.
I often begged for big cocks, 

“Cum inside me!”
Truth be told! Shame on me! 

I want MORE!!
I wanna fuck raunchy, nasty and wild!
I wanna cock raw, wet, deep inside me!
My ugly face would be frightful for
Licking. Sucking. Bareback Fucking!
Wearing a mask I don’t get too far;
Lips are required for kissing, sucking.
Can’t fit my mouth 

‘round a cum-dripping cock!!
Me sucked! Bare fucked! 

Tweaked high! Me DIED!!
 I smoked Tina first for the thrill;
I smoked her ‘til AIDS came for the kill.
Death had its aim; Meth was to blame!
Still I SURVIVED!!
As the myth goes, from ashes I rose
Like a great big fiery bird.
Nothing may spoil my heart unfurled
I’m a Phoenix a’FIRE!!
No I’m not hot! Not well endowed!!
But next to you, I can laugh & be proud.
Love me dearly! Do not fear me!
Dare just one glance at my pretty ass!
Just tell me… (spoken)
What is desire, and how does it 

What’s the word? – BURN?
Please hold me dear! Kiss me right here!!
My heart’s a Phoenix of DESIRE!!

RESIDENT ALIEN: 2010 SINS INVALID A.I.R. Performance

January 28 & 29, 2011 at Mission Cultural Center

2868 Mission Street, San Francisco, CA 94110-3908

© 2011 QHereKidSF | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Respectfully submitted,

Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF

Matthew D. Blanchard

matthew@qherekidsf.com
http://qherekidsf.com
http://bit.ly/qherekidsf

San Francisco, CA USA
[20110311T010356PT]

QHereKidSF @ 1/3-LIFE TRY!UMPH!!

UNDOING, Acrylic on Canvas
http://www.donald-rizzo.com

In an effort both to record for posterity the remnants of my once-was,  former social media profile presence and to update said presence with a spark of pizazz and pomposity, sycophantism and sophistry (as I might once have said before!), I am posting here my most recent yet previous profile as it has appeared on Facebook®, Google®, StumbleUpon®, and elsewhere.

As stated in closing, I do ever so much hope that my weblog visitors, fans, and followers do quite enjoy my writing. Recently, I have been receiving countless compliments – only out of common courtesy, of course! – with regards to the creativity and skill exhibited in my writing. I would just like those of you, who enjoy my poetry and prose, essays and extemporaneous elaborations upon the "thus, then, and therefore" of life, to know that really ... truly, I only write for you!

NO! I must say, I also write merely for the sheer peace of mind and cleansing of spirit I gain from this creative act of sharing. Thank you for your time and attention! Please view my updated Web2.0/Social Media presence profiles across the Web for an updated version of my poetically poised and personal biographical statement(s).

QHereKidSF @ 1/3-LIFE TRY!UMPH!! :
Mindflux | Matt(e)o | Mayhem! I am Man masked madly in mind's eye misgivings... The ubiquity of my ugliness is uncannily ulterior to my beauty beguiled, BeGODS!! Follow me for flagrantly unfettered, frenetic Fog City faggotry: garrulously salacious, in-your-face sycophantism and sophistry... You'll see! 

If by chance you get some crazed, cracked-out, masochistic satisfaction from strangely spiritual and surreal stories of misery, mayhem, and mutant monstrosity, then maybe I'm you're man! 

Meet ME, Matt(e)o: an evocative enunciation of sacred self. A "Gift from God" transposed as metaphysical motif by friend of the freak show, Fellini. This genius artist of Italian film-making struggled the length of his successfully storied career to expose, with astonishing exactitude, just how the very real possibility of perfection in Man is both fomented and fouled by the assertion and empowerment of an intimately equal mutualism between the divinely spiritual self and the meaningfully rational mind. This symbiotic melding of mind and spirit is represented by Fellini, in his film: La Strada, as the hopefully heaven-sent, high-wired equipoise of the fervently surefooted funambule: IL MATTO, who, when faced with danger, still dares to dance across a wire: ... ses doubles deboulés et son demi detourné, son seul somptueux soubresaut et ses battements développés. Puis jusqu'alors un ronde de jambe en dedans à la seconde fut souvent suivé d'un grand jeté en arrière; le Danseur Noble s'avance d'ici alors sur son fil, sans fierté blessé, avec d'une Arabesque en avant profondement penchée. Ces mouvements jusqu'ici ensuite se terminèrent d'un tremblement tout d'un coup des tours en l'air tombés ... Thus by tiptoeing so far from safety, toward the still bent, sunken, shaky, and unstable center of a wrought-iron, steel-corded risen rope, Fellini's funambule: IL MATTO, arouses such admiration, adulation, and affection from adoring fans, so as to inspire both the impassioned blossoming – in life! – and confounded crippling – in death! – of the purely innocent and naive, child-like mind. Consequently, I recognize symbolically resolute similarities and viscerally physical, real world differences between Fellini's representation of the metaphysical circus sideshow motif and my own efforts toward a more life-affirming reappropriation and realization of its meaning. As an Existential Nihilist (circa, La Strada), Fellini's obviously Freudian depiction of the psycho-spiritually multifaceted nature of Man culminated, not in possible fulfillment of his perfection, but instead in necessary realization of his corrosively calamitous demise. Contrarily, I aim to imbue the motif with an sense of urgently redemptive realism, through my own true-to-life, plain-as-day pursuits of a real-world psycho-social and spiritual sublimation of self. In this way, I see myself as one "Fagged-Out Ferocious Fog City Funambule Freak Show!" "IL MATTO" Matt(e)o, I like to call myself (cf., La Strada), as I conspicuously struggle to disempower and negate – through hope! – the nihilistic severity with which the existentialist cinematic artist ultimately confounds and curtails all possibility of perfection for Man.  

Gladly here, you will find one who can mesmerize the mind through his miraculous high-wire balance of benevolence & beatitude with damned near dastardly destruction, disfigurement, devotion & betrayal. 

Be touched tenderly here by the thoughtful “thus, then and therefores” that define the tumultuous, telling themes of my leftover, last chance life: Sanity, Sacrifice, Supplication & Serenity which spark our smiles! 

Sadly here, I reveal myself disfigured like a disgruntled, dirty dog. I'm doomed to die dismally destitute & destroyed! Despite that, I am devoutly determined to do deeds of damned near divine good. 

Remember my resounding recompense & reward for the very real ruination & ripping apart of my former, fabled beauty. No mockery, please! This mindflux needs no more mayhem! 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It just so happens... that this happy, home-bodied, head-spun homo aches for adventure outside of his squarely sparse and sterile, single-room studio. So much for the serenity of solitary!

I seek sure-fire ways to share in smiles! Feel-good, friendly encounters with compassionate, courageous young people who prefer spontaneity over structure, giggles to groans, wild, raucous, truly treasured adventures over lay-low, stay-at-home, humdrum, twiddle-your-thumb tragedies of time ill-spent and spoiled.

Oh to the brave, emboldened high-wire hopefuls who dare a single step onto my sky-high shaky string: Strength in Numbers! Hold the net for he who fumbles and fear not for this Fagged-out, Fog City Funambule Freak Show! as he falls a few steps forward.

In faith of friendships, past, present & so surely set to come...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

AIDS IS A PERVASIVE PANDEMIC THAT BLEEDS THRU
THE LINES OF COLOR, CREED & CAPITULATES TO NO
ONE, BUT THE POSITIVELY AWARE AND
PREVENTION-MINDED SURVIVORS.
— Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF (a.k.a. Matthew D. Blanchard, b. 1979)

The personal profile text above is a corpus/compendium – of sorts!! – of the long labor of love of mine in which I have endeavor to capture through creative expressions that are uniquely my own the essence of my personality, my being, my self, while devoting great conscious energy and focus to my own artistic – albeit, sometimes quite clumsy! – use of particularly pleasing poetic/literary devices.

The text of my most current Web2.0/Social Media presence profile(s) has been recorded already via a post to this blog, dot429 | BUSINESSON&OFFLINE™ : a biographical statement & personal introduction taken from my dot429.com LGBTQA professional networking profile page (accessible only to registered dot429.com members): http://dot429.com/member/matthewblanchard.

If one of my own personal blog site visitors to this particular post (or to the other preceding post referenced above) would like to view my most current profile in the context of an LGBTQA professional networking site, then I would suggest that they should register as a member of dot429.com, or else simply view the INFO Section of my Facebook profile: http://facebook.com/mblanchard79.

I hope that you all have and do continue to enjoy the quality of my inspiration, my introspection and of my writing, as I've made it quite readily available on and transmissible via the Web. Enjoy!! Peace Out! Cheers, Ciao & Namaste: I bow to the gods within you...

Respectfully submitted,

Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF

Matthew D. Blanchard
matthew@qherekidsf.com
http://qherekidsf.com
http://bit.ly/qherekidsf

San Francisco, CA USA
[20110310T233047PT] 

A LOOK BACK @ 18MTHS. OF HOPE!!

A LOOK BACK! At 60DAYS SOBER, ... I once concluded that "I JUST have an UGLY face." However, despite the devastation of disfigurement, I was/am still conscience & cognizant of the fact that my Seventh Chakra shines – Sahasrara : "The Thousand-Petaled Lotus" – "signifying & assuring QHereKidSF of his supreme consciousness & sublime connection to the cerebral, spiritual & physical worlds" (cf. http://youtu.be/gg8mjhUqSpw – below).

At 1YR. CLEAN, I affirmed "BEAUTY!" ... "But, only at God's speed. God willing" : the choice words Director Daniel Cardone & I used to frame the closing of CONSTRUCT, our "epic" (not in length, but rather in magnitude of reverberation & depth) experimental docu-short, filmed as part of The HIV Story Project's STILL AROUND 2010 compilation (Exec. Producer: Jörg Fockele; Producer: Marc Smolowitz), which together feature a day-in-the-life of 15 individual PWA (i.e., People With AIDS) protagonists.

Now, today... At 18.5MTHS. OF HOPE (not dope!), I take the stage in a short time to proclaim how indeed I am finally & once again ablaze with "DESIRE" : red hot & risen, redeemed & reborn; as a "PHOENIX a'FIRE" (cf. "Resident Alien" - the Sins Invalid Artists In Residence Show), who prances, dances and sings poemsongs of Paphian pleasantries, indulgences & delights...

As my Sins Invalid artist bio reads, I am: "grateful for God's boundless love of & faith in [my] own purely imperfect and human desire 'for elaborate beautification & solemn self-betterment" (cf. CONSTRUCT, 2011). "But, then again, I'll be quick to say: We live to die and die to live... Forever! Come what may." (cf. JEER NOT! FEAR NOT!!; "Resident Alien," 2011).

STAY TUNED!! for my "flagrantly unfettered" foretelling of a future full of fortitude, good fortune, and truly "fag-o-licious fabulosity" of face... SUBSCRIBE TO MY YouTube® CHANNEL – mindflux | matt(e)o | mayhem : http://youtube.com/qherekidsf.

Cheers! Ciao & Namaste...
Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF
Matthew D. Blanchard
matthew@qherekidsf.com
http://bit.ly/qherekidsf

San Francisco, CA USA
[20110125T071435PST]